the-erotic-turing-test
Original: the-erotic-turing-test on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman in lab coat (researcher): It's called the Erotic Turing Test.
Panel 2:
Researcher: You have sex with a robot, and if you can't tell that it's a robot we can consider it to have erotic consciousness.
Panel 3:
Researcher: Please put on this EEG helmet as a baseline. We're going to run your first test with this machine.
Panel 4:
Researcher: It's a vibrating wiener attached to a shelf containing your favorite movies and a pie.
(Shown: a screen/machine setup on a shelf.)
Panel 5:
Caption: 1 minute later.
Researcher: Okay so that's our control group.
Test subject (wearing EEG helmet): Yes! It's real!
Panel 6:
Researcher: He's definitely a robot.
Test subject (clutching the device): You stay away from my man!
Votey:
A close-up of the test subject's face, wide-eyed and possessive.
Test subject: ...until I use him up.
Woman in lab coat (researcher): It's called the Erotic Turing Test.
Panel 2:
Researcher: You have sex with a robot, and if you can't tell that it's a robot we can consider it to have erotic consciousness.
Panel 3:
Researcher: Please put on this EEG helmet as a baseline. We're going to run your first test with this machine.
Panel 4:
Researcher: It's a vibrating wiener attached to a shelf containing your favorite movies and a pie.
(Shown: a screen/machine setup on a shelf.)
Panel 5:
Caption: 1 minute later.
Researcher: Okay so that's our control group.
Test subject (wearing EEG helmet): Yes! It's real!
Panel 6:
Researcher: He's definitely a robot.
Test subject (clutching the device): You stay away from my man!
Votey:
A close-up of the test subject's face, wide-eyed and possessive.
Test subject: ...until I use him up.
Alt text
A six-panel comic about an 'Erotic Turing Test.' A woman in a lab coat explains to a test subject that you have sex with a robot, and if you can't tell it's a robot, it has 'erotic consciousness.' She has him put on an EEG helmet as a baseline and introduces the first machine: a vibrating wiener attached to a shelf holding his favorite movies and a pie. One minute later, the subject is ecstatically clutching the device, shouting 'Yes! It's real!' The researcher dryly notes 'Okay so that's our control group.' When she says of another device 'He's definitely a robot,' the subject possessively yells 'You stay away from my man!' Votey: an extreme close-up of the subject's wide-eyed, manic face as he adds, '...until I use him up.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.