center-of-the-universe
Original: center-of-the-universe on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A blonde woman (looking annoyed) sits across from a brown-haired woman.
Blonde woman: HUMANS ARE WEIRD.
Panel 2: The brown-haired woman speaks.
Brown-haired woman: I MEAN WE ARE THE PINNACLES OF CREATION! WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN FEEL, AND REASON, AND USE LANGUAGE.
Panel 3:
Brown-haired woman: ON TOP OF THAT, EARTH IS THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE!
Panel 4:
Brown-haired woman: THE MOON, THE SUN, THE PLANETS, AND THE STARS ALL REVOLVE AROUND US.
Panel 5:
Brown-haired woman: AND YET, FOR ALL THAT, WE FEEL PURPOSELESS, POINTLESS. LIKE NONE OF IT MATTERS. LIKE THE CORE OF REALITY, BUT AS INDIVIDUALS WE FEEL LOST AND TRAGIC.
Panel 6:
Brown-haired woman: YEAH, BUT HEY IMAGINE HOW YOU'D FEEL IF NONE OF THAT STUFF WERE TRUE.
Panel 7:
Brown-haired woman: I SUPPOSE I'D JUST SEEK MILD AMUSEMENTS AS A DIVERSION FROM THE SPECTER OF DEATH.
Panel 8:
Blonde woman: UM... ...UMM...
Panel 9:
Brown-haired woman: WAIT A NIGHTMARE.
Votey:
First character (off to the left, only partially visible): WANNA TORTURE SOME PROTESTANTS?
Smiling character: SURE!
Blonde woman: HUMANS ARE WEIRD.
Panel 2: The brown-haired woman speaks.
Brown-haired woman: I MEAN WE ARE THE PINNACLES OF CREATION! WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN FEEL, AND REASON, AND USE LANGUAGE.
Panel 3:
Brown-haired woman: ON TOP OF THAT, EARTH IS THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE!
Panel 4:
Brown-haired woman: THE MOON, THE SUN, THE PLANETS, AND THE STARS ALL REVOLVE AROUND US.
Panel 5:
Brown-haired woman: AND YET, FOR ALL THAT, WE FEEL PURPOSELESS, POINTLESS. LIKE NONE OF IT MATTERS. LIKE THE CORE OF REALITY, BUT AS INDIVIDUALS WE FEEL LOST AND TRAGIC.
Panel 6:
Brown-haired woman: YEAH, BUT HEY IMAGINE HOW YOU'D FEEL IF NONE OF THAT STUFF WERE TRUE.
Panel 7:
Brown-haired woman: I SUPPOSE I'D JUST SEEK MILD AMUSEMENTS AS A DIVERSION FROM THE SPECTER OF DEATH.
Panel 8:
Blonde woman: UM... ...UMM...
Panel 9:
Brown-haired woman: WAIT A NIGHTMARE.
Votey:
First character (off to the left, only partially visible): WANNA TORTURE SOME PROTESTANTS?
Smiling character: SURE!
Alt text
A nine-panel black-and-white SMBC comic. A blonde woman sits talking with a brown-haired woman. The blonde says 'Humans are weird.' The brown-haired woman launches into a grandiose monologue: humans are the pinnacles of creation, the only ones who can feel, reason, and use language; Earth is the center of the universe; the moon, sun, planets, and stars all revolve around us. Then she adds that, despite all that, we feel purposeless and pointless, like none of it matters, lost and tragic as individuals. She continues: 'Yeah, but hey, imagine how you'd feel if none of that stuff were true.' She reflects, 'I suppose I'd just seek mild amusements as a diversion from the specter of death.' The blonde woman, increasingly uneasy, mutters 'Um... umm...' The brown-haired woman concludes, 'What a nightmare.' The joke is that the cosmically inflated worldview and the nihilistic one lead to the same hollow coping. Votey (aftercomic): one character, mostly off-panel, asks 'Wanna torture some Protestants?' and a smiling character cheerfully replies 'Sure!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.