incredible
Original: incredible on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (excited): Oh my god, this is incredible! It appears to have crystallized some time in the late Miocene epoch.
Man: Okay, okay.
Panel 2:
Woman: There's a mosquito trapped in the solid resin!
Man: There is not.
Panel 3:
Woman: If we can extract blood, we may find the DNA of ancient megafauna.
Panel 4:
Woman: In my hand, I hold the power to bring back the woolly mammoth, the sabertooth tiger, or perhaps even the glorious mastodon!
Man: Stop it.
Panel 5:
Woman: Do you have a condom?
Man: Uh, yeah, in my wallet. It... might be a little old.
(Caption: EARLIER.)
Votey:
Woman (telling a story): And 9 months later you were born.
(She is shown in profile, mid-anecdote.)
Woman (excited): Oh my god, this is incredible! It appears to have crystallized some time in the late Miocene epoch.
Man: Okay, okay.
Panel 2:
Woman: There's a mosquito trapped in the solid resin!
Man: There is not.
Panel 3:
Woman: If we can extract blood, we may find the DNA of ancient megafauna.
Panel 4:
Woman: In my hand, I hold the power to bring back the woolly mammoth, the sabertooth tiger, or perhaps even the glorious mastodon!
Man: Stop it.
Panel 5:
Woman: Do you have a condom?
Man: Uh, yeah, in my wallet. It... might be a little old.
(Caption: EARLIER.)
Votey:
Woman (telling a story): And 9 months later you were born.
(She is shown in profile, mid-anecdote.)
Alt text
A five-panel comic. A woman holds up a small object and excitedly tells a skeptical man it crystallized in the late Miocene epoch and contains a mosquito trapped in solid resin. She declares that if they extract its blood they could recover ancient DNA and bring back the woolly mammoth, sabertooth tiger, or mastodon. The man keeps saying "okay," "there is not," and "stop it." The final panel is labeled "EARLIER" and reveals the object is an old condom from his wallet: she asks "Do you have a condom?" and he says it might be a little old. The whole grandiose Jurassic-Park-style speech was about a condom so old it had hardened into amber-like resin. In the black-and-white votey aftercomic, a smiling woman finishes telling the story to someone off-panel: "And 9 months later you were born." The punchline is that the failed old condom led to a pregnancy and the child she is narrating to.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.