2014-06-18
Original: 2014-06-18 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (with messy hair, gesturing): HEY! YOU WANNA TRY THIS NEW MACHINE? IT ARTIFICIALLY MAKES YOU EXPERIENCE AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.
Panel 2:
Man (with hair standing on end, eyes wide, surrounded by a yellow radiating burst): AAAH! BUT... IF I CAN HAVE SUCH A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AT THE WHIM OF SOME MINDLESS ARRANGEMENT OF METAL, PERHAPS I'M JUST SOME MINDLESS ARRANGEMENT OF CARBON!
Panel 3:
Woman: THAT'LL BE FORTY BUCKS.
Panel 4:
Man (in the yellow burst again): GAY, WHAT'S IN THE MACHINE ANYWAY?
Panel 5:
Woman: NOTHING.
Panel 6:
Man (in yellow burst, distressed): AAAH!
Panel 7:
Woman: FORTY BUCKS.
Votey:
Close-up of the man's face, calm and resigned: I'M A PRAGMATIST.
Man (with messy hair, gesturing): HEY! YOU WANNA TRY THIS NEW MACHINE? IT ARTIFICIALLY MAKES YOU EXPERIENCE AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.
Panel 2:
Man (with hair standing on end, eyes wide, surrounded by a yellow radiating burst): AAAH! BUT... IF I CAN HAVE SUCH A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AT THE WHIM OF SOME MINDLESS ARRANGEMENT OF METAL, PERHAPS I'M JUST SOME MINDLESS ARRANGEMENT OF CARBON!
Panel 3:
Woman: THAT'LL BE FORTY BUCKS.
Panel 4:
Man (in the yellow burst again): GAY, WHAT'S IN THE MACHINE ANYWAY?
Panel 5:
Woman: NOTHING.
Panel 6:
Man (in yellow burst, distressed): AAAH!
Panel 7:
Woman: FORTY BUCKS.
Votey:
Close-up of the man's face, calm and resigned: I'M A PRAGMATIST.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A man with messy hair enthusiastically asks a woman, "Hey! You wanna try this new machine? It artificially makes you experience an existential crisis." Panel 2: The man, hair standing on end and surrounded by a yellow radiating burst, cries, "Aaah! But... if I can have such a personal experience at the whim of some mindless arrangement of metal, perhaps I'm just some mindless arrangement of carbon!" Panel 3: The woman flatly says, "That'll be forty bucks." Panel 4: The man, still in the yellow burst, asks, "Gay, what's in the machine anyway?" Panel 5: The woman answers, "Nothing." Panel 6: The man recoils in fresh distress: "Aaah!" Panel 7: The woman repeats, "Forty bucks." The joke: the machine is empty, and merely being told so triggers the existential crisis it advertises. Votey: A close-up of the man's face, now calm and resigned, saying, "I'm a pragmatist."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.