2014-03-13
Original: 2014-03-13 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man with reddish-brown hair looks up, distressed.
Man: DEAR GOD, HOW WILL I DIE?
Panel 2: A silhouetted divine figure (God) answers from darkness.
God: I CAN ONLY TELL YOU IT WILL BE UNEXPECTED.
Man: THANK YOU, LORD.
Panel 3 (row of four small panels): The same man is shown aging across four faces, from young with red hair to old and gray, smiling slightly throughout.
Panel 4: The now-old man clutches his chest, alarmed.
Old man: WHAT THE--
Panel 5: The old man sits on the ground, having collapsed.
Old man: A HEART ATTACK?! BUT THAT'S THE MOST COMMON WAY TO DIE. I DIDN'T EXPE--
Panel 6: A large close-up of the old man's grim, dying face.
Panel 7: Outside, a glowing golden disc (a UFO/flying saucer) hovers in a starry night sky above clouds, while laughter echoes.
Sound/voice: AHAHAHAHAHA
Votey:
God (off-panel, speech bubble) over an image of an alien craft / glowing disc: NOW, HAVE SOME LIGHTNING AND SHARKS.
Man: DEAR GOD, HOW WILL I DIE?
Panel 2: A silhouetted divine figure (God) answers from darkness.
God: I CAN ONLY TELL YOU IT WILL BE UNEXPECTED.
Man: THANK YOU, LORD.
Panel 3 (row of four small panels): The same man is shown aging across four faces, from young with red hair to old and gray, smiling slightly throughout.
Panel 4: The now-old man clutches his chest, alarmed.
Old man: WHAT THE--
Panel 5: The old man sits on the ground, having collapsed.
Old man: A HEART ATTACK?! BUT THAT'S THE MOST COMMON WAY TO DIE. I DIDN'T EXPE--
Panel 6: A large close-up of the old man's grim, dying face.
Panel 7: Outside, a glowing golden disc (a UFO/flying saucer) hovers in a starry night sky above clouds, while laughter echoes.
Sound/voice: AHAHAHAHAHA
Votey:
God (off-panel, speech bubble) over an image of an alien craft / glowing disc: NOW, HAVE SOME LIGHTNING AND SHARKS.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a red-haired man looks up anxiously and asks, "Dear God, how will I die?" Panel 2: a black silhouette of God replies, "I can only tell you it will be unexpected," and the man says, "Thank you, Lord." Panel 3: a strip of four faces shows the man aging from young and red-haired to old and gray. Panel 4: now elderly, he clutches his chest and says, "What the--" Panel 5: he has collapsed to the floor, saying, "A heart attack?! But that's the most common way to die. I didn't expe--" Panel 6: a stark close-up of his grim dying face. Panel 7: outside, a glowing golden flying saucer hovers in a starry night sky above clouds while laughter rings out, "Ahahahahaha" -- revealing that God technically made the death unexpected by sending a UFO at the exact moment of an ordinary heart attack. Votey: a glowing oval craft floats in the frame as God's speech bubble adds, "Now, have some lightning and sharks," piling on more absurd unexpected deaths.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.