2014-03-10
Original: 2014-03-10 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A woman speaks to a robot (a red glowing dot/light on a machine).
Woman: HOW ARE YOU?
Robot: GREAT.
Panel 2:
Woman: AND HOW ARE YOU?
Robot: JUST OKAY.
Panel 3:
The woman leans on a counter, looking annoyed.
Robot: SORRY. LACK OF CONSISTENT SELF-NARRATIVE. YOU'VE FAILED THE TURING TEST.
Panel 4:
Woman: WHAT IS 832911347565 TIMES 121918442551??
Panel 5:
Robot: UH.
Panel 6:
Robot: SORRY. LACK OF MENTAL POWER. YOU HAVE FAILED THE ROBOT TEST.
Panel 7:
The woman frowns/glares, frustrated.
Panel 8:
The robot's red light glows.
Woman (off-panel): OH NO.
Panel 9:
A reveal: through a window, a green-skinned figure (a cyborg) is seen inside a chamber.
Panel 10:
Close-up of the cyborg, with a metal half-face/helmet.
Caption: THEY FAILED THE CYBORG TEST.
Votey:
A man with flowing hair and a beard speaks (thought/speech).
Man: WHY DOESN'T SOMEONE INVENT A ROBOT WITH ROUNDED EDGES?
A woman speaks to a robot (a red glowing dot/light on a machine).
Woman: HOW ARE YOU?
Robot: GREAT.
Panel 2:
Woman: AND HOW ARE YOU?
Robot: JUST OKAY.
Panel 3:
The woman leans on a counter, looking annoyed.
Robot: SORRY. LACK OF CONSISTENT SELF-NARRATIVE. YOU'VE FAILED THE TURING TEST.
Panel 4:
Woman: WHAT IS 832911347565 TIMES 121918442551??
Panel 5:
Robot: UH.
Panel 6:
Robot: SORRY. LACK OF MENTAL POWER. YOU HAVE FAILED THE ROBOT TEST.
Panel 7:
The woman frowns/glares, frustrated.
Panel 8:
The robot's red light glows.
Woman (off-panel): OH NO.
Panel 9:
A reveal: through a window, a green-skinned figure (a cyborg) is seen inside a chamber.
Panel 10:
Close-up of the cyborg, with a metal half-face/helmet.
Caption: THEY FAILED THE CYBORG TEST.
Votey:
A man with flowing hair and a beard speaks (thought/speech).
Man: WHY DOESN'T SOMEONE INVENT A ROBOT WITH ROUNDED EDGES?
Alt text
A tall black-panel comic. A woman talks to a robot, represented by a red glowing light on a machine. She asks "How are you?" and it says "Great." She asks "And how are you?" and it says "Just okay." The robot declares: "Sorry. Lack of consistent self-narrative. You've failed the Turing test" — implying the human is the one being tested. The woman retaliates by asking the robot to multiply two huge numbers; the robot stammers "Uh," then says "Sorry. Lack of mental power. You have failed the robot test." She glares, frustrated. The final panels reveal, through a window, a green-skinned cyborg figure with a metal half-face, captioned "They failed the cyborg test." Votey: A man with long flowing hair and a beard muses, "Why doesn't someone invent a robot with rounded edges?"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.