2014-03-18
Original: 2014-03-18 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: Two men face each other. The first man (brown hair, green shirt) speaks.
Man in green shirt: I can accept that you broke up with me, but I just want closure. I want a reason.
Panel 2: The second man (dark hair, glasses) replies.
Man with glasses: I think we just sort of drifted apart, you know?
Panel 3: The man in the green shirt reacts, distressed.
Man in green shirt: That's not a reason!
Panel 4: The man with glasses delivers a blunt explanation.
Man with glasses: You're vain, boring, shallow, cruel, materialistic, petty, jealous, spiteful, and you show no inclination to change.
Panel 5: The man with glasses repeats his earlier, gentler phrasing.
Man with glasses: I mean I think we just sort of drifted apart you know?
Panel 6: The man in the green shirt, now satisfied, responds.
Man in green shirt: I totally understand.
Votey:
A close-up of a man's face (the one with glasses), smiling slightly.
Caption: I hope you can move on somehow.
Man in green shirt: I can accept that you broke up with me, but I just want closure. I want a reason.
Panel 2: The second man (dark hair, glasses) replies.
Man with glasses: I think we just sort of drifted apart, you know?
Panel 3: The man in the green shirt reacts, distressed.
Man in green shirt: That's not a reason!
Panel 4: The man with glasses delivers a blunt explanation.
Man with glasses: You're vain, boring, shallow, cruel, materialistic, petty, jealous, spiteful, and you show no inclination to change.
Panel 5: The man with glasses repeats his earlier, gentler phrasing.
Man with glasses: I mean I think we just sort of drifted apart you know?
Panel 6: The man in the green shirt, now satisfied, responds.
Man in green shirt: I totally understand.
Votey:
A close-up of a man's face (the one with glasses), smiling slightly.
Caption: I hope you can move on somehow.
Alt text
A six-panel comic of a breakup conversation between two men. A brown-haired man in a green shirt tells a dark-haired man with glasses that he accepts the breakup but wants closure and a reason. The man with glasses gently says, 'I think we just sort of drifted apart, you know?' The first man protests, 'That's not a reason!' So the man with glasses bluntly lists every fault: 'You're vain, boring, shallow, cruel, materialistic, petty, jealous, spiteful, and you show no inclination to change.' Then he repeats his original soft line word for word: 'I mean I think we just sort of drifted apart you know?' The first man, now content, replies, 'I totally understand.' The joke: the harsh honest truth is rejected, but the vague non-reason is accepted as soon as it's restated. Votey aftercomic: a hand-drawn close-up of the bespectacled man's faintly smiling face with the caption, 'I hope you can move on somehow.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.