2014-01-21
Original: 2014-01-21 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A tree-like creature with glowing yellow eyes holds out two pills toward a woman with reddish hair in a purple shirt.
Tree creature: "IF YOU EAT THE YELLOW PILL, YOU WILL KNOW ALL THINGS. IF YOU EAT THE GREEN PILL, YOU WILL KNOW NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS."
Panel 2: The woman points and chooses.
Woman: "YELLOW PILL!"
Panel 3: Close-up of the yellow pill being handed over (a green pill also visible).
Panel 4: The woman grins triumphantly.
Woman: "HA! SUCKER! NOW THAT I HAVE ALL KNOWLEDGE, ALL I HAVE TO DO IS THINK IT!"
Panel 5: The woman, now looking weary and dejected with eyes closed.
Woman: "TAKE THE GREEN PILL."
Panel 6: Close-up of the woman looking miserable; the tree creature's glowing yellow eyes appear in the dark beside her.
Woman: "DAMMIT."
Votey:
A small simple-faced character lying down.
Voice from above (speech bubble): "ALSO, DON'T EAT MYSTERY PILLS"
Character: "HUH."
Tree creature: "IF YOU EAT THE YELLOW PILL, YOU WILL KNOW ALL THINGS. IF YOU EAT THE GREEN PILL, YOU WILL KNOW NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS."
Panel 2: The woman points and chooses.
Woman: "YELLOW PILL!"
Panel 3: Close-up of the yellow pill being handed over (a green pill also visible).
Panel 4: The woman grins triumphantly.
Woman: "HA! SUCKER! NOW THAT I HAVE ALL KNOWLEDGE, ALL I HAVE TO DO IS THINK IT!"
Panel 5: The woman, now looking weary and dejected with eyes closed.
Woman: "TAKE THE GREEN PILL."
Panel 6: Close-up of the woman looking miserable; the tree creature's glowing yellow eyes appear in the dark beside her.
Woman: "DAMMIT."
Votey:
A small simple-faced character lying down.
Voice from above (speech bubble): "ALSO, DON'T EAT MYSTERY PILLS"
Character: "HUH."
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A sinister tree-like creature with glowing yellow eyes offers a woman two pills, saying the yellow pill grants knowledge of all things and the green pill grants nothing but happiness. The woman triumphantly picks the yellow pill, gloating that now that she has all knowledge, all she has to do is think happiness into being. In the next panel she sits slumped and weary, and with full knowledge of what will actually make her happy she resignedly says "Take the green pill." The final panel shows her looking miserable as she mutters "Dammit," the creature's glowing eyes lurking beside her — the joke being that perfect knowledge reveals that ignorant happiness was the better choice all along. Votey: a small simple character lies on the ground as a voice from above adds "Also, don't eat mystery pills," and the character flatly responds "Huh."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.