2014-01-31
Original: 2014-01-31 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A large mechanical/robotic device with a syringe-like tip looms over a red-haired man.
Device: TIME TO PUKE INFECTED HUMAN!
Man: NO! WAIT! I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL.
Panel 2: The man speaks.
Device: I'M LISTENING.
Man: YOU WANT ME TO VOMIT IN ORDER TO PASS YOUR OFFSPRING TO OTHER HUMANS. BUT I'M VOMITING RIGHT INTO A SANITATION SYSTEM.
Panel 3:
Man: IF YOU AGREE TO NOT MAKE ME PUKE, I WILL PUT YOU DIRECTLY INTO ANOTHER HUMAN WHO IS WAY MORE SOCIAL THAN ME.
Panel 4: The man smiles. The device responds.
Device: IT'S A DEAL, HUMAN!
Panel 5: Caption: SOON...
A man (a host/boss figure) shakes hands warmly with another man.
First man (shaking hands): WOW! WHAT A FIRM HANDSHAKE!
Red-haired man (in background): THANKS, BOSS!
Votey:
Close-up of the red-haired man looking down with a smug/sneaky expression.
Man: I LIED!
Device: TIME TO PUKE INFECTED HUMAN!
Man: NO! WAIT! I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL.
Panel 2: The man speaks.
Device: I'M LISTENING.
Man: YOU WANT ME TO VOMIT IN ORDER TO PASS YOUR OFFSPRING TO OTHER HUMANS. BUT I'M VOMITING RIGHT INTO A SANITATION SYSTEM.
Panel 3:
Man: IF YOU AGREE TO NOT MAKE ME PUKE, I WILL PUT YOU DIRECTLY INTO ANOTHER HUMAN WHO IS WAY MORE SOCIAL THAN ME.
Panel 4: The man smiles. The device responds.
Device: IT'S A DEAL, HUMAN!
Panel 5: Caption: SOON...
A man (a host/boss figure) shakes hands warmly with another man.
First man (shaking hands): WOW! WHAT A FIRM HANDSHAKE!
Red-haired man (in background): THANKS, BOSS!
Votey:
Close-up of the red-haired man looking down with a smug/sneaky expression.
Man: I LIED!
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. A menacing robotic device with a syringe-tipped arm hangs over a red-haired man and announces 'Time to puke, infected human!' The man begs it to wait and offers a deal: he points out that the pathogen wants him to vomit to spread its offspring to other humans, but he's vomiting straight into a sanitation system, so it's wasted. He proposes that if the pathogen agrees not to make him puke, he'll instead transmit it directly to another, more social human. The device agrees: 'It's a deal, human!' Soon after, the red-haired man gives a firm handshake to his boss, who exclaims 'Wow! What a firm handshake!' as the man says 'Thanks, boss!' Votey aftercomic: a close-up of the red-haired man looking down with a sly, self-satisfied expression, saying to the pathogen, 'I lied!' — he transmitted it via handshake rather than the promised more-social host, or never intended to help it spread at all.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.