2014-01-29
Original: 2014-01-29 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (with glasses): Bad news, Reverend. You know your 'theory' that gay sex causes bad weather?
Reverend (man): Yeah?
Woman: It's wrong.
Panel 2:
Woman: Wait! But look at this chart! There's a clear correlation between gay sex and hailstorms.
Reverend: Yes, but what if it does the other way?
Woman: Huh?
Panel 3:
Woman: We did an experiment with simulated weather on gay couples, and we got the same level of gay sex as was found during real bad weather.
Reverend: It's reverse causality, man! When people are stuck indoors, they have more gay sex.
Panel 4:
Woman: My God.
Reverend: Gay sex doesn't cause bad weather. Bad weather causes gay sex.
Panel 5:
Reverend: That leads me to our second, more startling finding.
Woman: Does this mean that pleasant weather makes gay lives worse?
Panel 6:
Reverend (gesturing to a chart/easel): Gay weather causes bad sex.
Votey:
A book cover reads: PROCEEDINGS OF EVANGELICAL SCIENCE. Below it: ISSUE 1. Beside that, a smaller article titled 'Dinosaurs: Man's first friend.' A small startled face peeks up from the bottom edge.
Woman (with glasses): Bad news, Reverend. You know your 'theory' that gay sex causes bad weather?
Reverend (man): Yeah?
Woman: It's wrong.
Panel 2:
Woman: Wait! But look at this chart! There's a clear correlation between gay sex and hailstorms.
Reverend: Yes, but what if it does the other way?
Woman: Huh?
Panel 3:
Woman: We did an experiment with simulated weather on gay couples, and we got the same level of gay sex as was found during real bad weather.
Reverend: It's reverse causality, man! When people are stuck indoors, they have more gay sex.
Panel 4:
Woman: My God.
Reverend: Gay sex doesn't cause bad weather. Bad weather causes gay sex.
Panel 5:
Reverend: That leads me to our second, more startling finding.
Woman: Does this mean that pleasant weather makes gay lives worse?
Panel 6:
Reverend (gesturing to a chart/easel): Gay weather causes bad sex.
Votey:
A book cover reads: PROCEEDINGS OF EVANGELICAL SCIENCE. Below it: ISSUE 1. Beside that, a smaller article titled 'Dinosaurs: Man's first friend.' A small startled face peeks up from the bottom edge.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A woman in glasses reports to a reverend that his 'theory' that gay sex causes bad weather is wrong, showing a chart with a clear correlation between gay sex and hailstorms. The reverend counters that the causality runs the other way: their experiment simulating bad weather on gay couples produced the same amount of gay sex, so when people are stuck indoors during storms they have more gay sex. Stunned, the woman says 'My God,' and the reverend declares 'Gay sex doesn't cause bad weather. Bad weather causes gay sex.' He then presents a second 'more startling finding' on a chart: 'Gay weather causes bad sex,' while the woman asks if pleasant weather makes gay lives worse. The joke parodies correlation-versus-causation reasoning and pseudoscientific reversals. Votey: a hand-drawn book cover titled 'Proceedings of Evangelical Science, Issue 1,' featuring an article 'Dinosaurs: Man's first friend,' with a small startled cartoon face peeking up from the bottom.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.