2013-12-17
Original: 2013-12-17 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Woman: Oh god. I just had a horrible revelation.
Panel 2
Woman: It chases the red dot over and over even though it can never be caught.
Panel 3
Woman: It kneads at cold idle objects in hope for nourishment.
Panel 4
Woman: It spends most of its life dreaming, awakens briefly to cover oft-trod ground, then returns to sleep.
Panel 5
Woman: I don't follow. Why's that so bad?
Man: Don't you get it?
Panel 6
Woman: Everything my cat does is a metaphor for life.
Man: Oh.
Panel 7
Man: Oh god.
Panel 8
Woman: Oh no! It's looking through a window longing for what can never be!
Man: Push it away! Push it away!
Panel 9
Woman: Oh no! It's lying on the floor, the victim of unanticipated forces, wondering how everything went wrong!
Man: Run! Run!
Panel 10
(The man and woman flee in terror past their house.)
Panel 11
Cat: Mow.
Votey:
Woman: Why can't you do NICE cat jokes?
(The man is wincing/grimacing in response.)
Woman: Oh god. I just had a horrible revelation.
Panel 2
Woman: It chases the red dot over and over even though it can never be caught.
Panel 3
Woman: It kneads at cold idle objects in hope for nourishment.
Panel 4
Woman: It spends most of its life dreaming, awakens briefly to cover oft-trod ground, then returns to sleep.
Panel 5
Woman: I don't follow. Why's that so bad?
Man: Don't you get it?
Panel 6
Woman: Everything my cat does is a metaphor for life.
Man: Oh.
Panel 7
Man: Oh god.
Panel 8
Woman: Oh no! It's looking through a window longing for what can never be!
Man: Push it away! Push it away!
Panel 9
Woman: Oh no! It's lying on the floor, the victim of unanticipated forces, wondering how everything went wrong!
Man: Run! Run!
Panel 10
(The man and woman flee in terror past their house.)
Panel 11
Cat: Mow.
Votey:
Woman: Why can't you do NICE cat jokes?
(The man is wincing/grimacing in response.)
Alt text
An eleven-panel comic. A woman tells a man she's had a horrible revelation: her cat chases a red dot it can never catch, kneads cold objects hoping for nourishment, and spends its life dreaming, briefly waking to cover the same ground before sleeping again. The man asks if she gets it; she realizes everything her cat does is a metaphor for life. The man is horrified, saying "Oh god." As she keeps narrating the cat's behavior ('looking through a window longing for what can never be,' 'lying on the floor, the victim of unanticipated forces, wondering how everything went wrong'), the man panics, shouting "Push it away!" and "Run! Run!" The two flee in terror past their house. In the final panel, an oblivious cat simply says "Mow." In the bonus votey panel, the woman frowns and asks, "Why can't you do NICE cat jokes?" while the man winces.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.