2013-08-26
Original: 2013-08-26 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (single panel):
A woman (referred to in the dialogue as Aunt Jessica), seen from behind in silhouette, speaks to a small child who is kneeling on the floor playing with colored blocks in a darkened room.
Aunt Jessica: "HEY LITTLE CUTIE. I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TIRED, BUT IT'S TIME TO PUT AWAY YOUR BLOCKS AND GO TO SLEEP."
Child: "WHEELS ARE TURNING, AUNT JESSICA. WHEELS ARE TURNING."
Caption below the comic:
Phrases I intend to teach my children:
1) If you dislike what someone did: "Wheels are turning, ________"
2) If you didn't get what you want: "Oh outrageous fortune!"
3) If you're hungry: "The spider wants its fly."
4) If you meet someone: "Well well well... if it isn't ________"
5) If the food you got isn't tasty: "Assassin! Assassin!"
Votey:
Also: "I never face away from an entrance while dining."
A woman (referred to in the dialogue as Aunt Jessica), seen from behind in silhouette, speaks to a small child who is kneeling on the floor playing with colored blocks in a darkened room.
Aunt Jessica: "HEY LITTLE CUTIE. I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TIRED, BUT IT'S TIME TO PUT AWAY YOUR BLOCKS AND GO TO SLEEP."
Child: "WHEELS ARE TURNING, AUNT JESSICA. WHEELS ARE TURNING."
Caption below the comic:
Phrases I intend to teach my children:
1) If you dislike what someone did: "Wheels are turning, ________"
2) If you didn't get what you want: "Oh outrageous fortune!"
3) If you're hungry: "The spider wants its fly."
4) If you meet someone: "Well well well... if it isn't ________"
5) If the food you got isn't tasty: "Assassin! Assassin!"
Votey:
Also: "I never face away from an entrance while dining."
Alt text
A single-panel comic set in a dim room. A woman, shown from behind as a black silhouette, leans toward a small child kneeling on the floor playing with colorful blocks. She says, "Hey little cutie. I know you're not tired, but it's time to put away your blocks and go to sleep." The child replies ominously, "Wheels are turning, Aunt Jessica. Wheels are turning." Below the comic is a caption titled "Phrases I intend to teach my children:" listing cryptic, theatrical lines: 1) If you dislike what someone did: "Wheels are turning, ________"; 2) If you didn't get what you want: "Oh outrageous fortune!"; 3) If you're hungry: "The spider wants its fly."; 4) If you meet someone: "Well well well... if it isn't ________"; 5) If the food you got isn't tasty: "Assassin! Assassin!" The joke is the author wanting to raise children who speak in menacing, melodramatic non-sequiturs. The votey (a handwritten extra panel) adds one more: Also: "I never face away from an entrance while dining" — a paranoid, mob-boss-like rule.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.