2013-08-30
Original: 2013-08-30 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (a superheroine with a tiara and star-emblem costume bursts in): AAH!
Panel 2 (the superheroine, to a masked bald villain): IT'S JAIL TIME FOR YOU, CROOK!
Villain: YOU DID IT!
Panel 3:
Villain: OH MY GOD.
Superheroine: DID WHAT?
Panel 4:
Villain: I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH TUMOR-INDUCED KLEPTOMANIA.
Panel 5:
Villain: DOCTORS SAID IT WAS INOPERABLE, BUT EVER SINCE YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE HEAD, I CAN COMPLETELY USE THE URGE TO STEAL.
Panel 6:
Villain (handing over money): HERE'S THE MONEY BACK. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Superheroine: I STILL HAVE TO ARREST YOU FOR STEALING.
Panel 7:
Villain: WHAT FOR? I'M A NEW PERSON.
Panel 8:
Villain: THE PART OF MY PERSONALITY THAT DID THE CRIME HAS BEEN KILLED. THE REST OF ME IS INNOCENT. FURTHER PUNISHMENT IS UNJUST.
Panel 9:
Villain: AND YOU'RE A HERO, NOT A VILLAIN. AREN'T YOU?
Superheroine: I... I...
Panel 10 (a second figure with long dark hair appears behind/beside the heroine):
Figure: WAIT A MINUTE! THE NEUROETHICIST!
Panel 11: (the neuroethicist gestures, the heroine looks on)
Panel 12 (the heroine fires a jetpack-style weapon, a long red blast): FWOOSH!
Panel 13 (the dark-haired figure looms over the scene):
Figure: SO, SHOULD I PUNISH YOU OR WHAT?
Panel 14:
Villain: IT'S COMPLICATED! EVERYTHING'S COMPLICATED! HAHAHAHA HAHA!
Votey: One person, off-screen behind a computer/monitor: WHY DOES HE HAVE A JETPACK? A second person replies, lounging back: YOU KNOW NOTHING OF COMICS.
Panel 2 (the superheroine, to a masked bald villain): IT'S JAIL TIME FOR YOU, CROOK!
Villain: YOU DID IT!
Panel 3:
Villain: OH MY GOD.
Superheroine: DID WHAT?
Panel 4:
Villain: I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH TUMOR-INDUCED KLEPTOMANIA.
Panel 5:
Villain: DOCTORS SAID IT WAS INOPERABLE, BUT EVER SINCE YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE HEAD, I CAN COMPLETELY USE THE URGE TO STEAL.
Panel 6:
Villain (handing over money): HERE'S THE MONEY BACK. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Superheroine: I STILL HAVE TO ARREST YOU FOR STEALING.
Panel 7:
Villain: WHAT FOR? I'M A NEW PERSON.
Panel 8:
Villain: THE PART OF MY PERSONALITY THAT DID THE CRIME HAS BEEN KILLED. THE REST OF ME IS INNOCENT. FURTHER PUNISHMENT IS UNJUST.
Panel 9:
Villain: AND YOU'RE A HERO, NOT A VILLAIN. AREN'T YOU?
Superheroine: I... I...
Panel 10 (a second figure with long dark hair appears behind/beside the heroine):
Figure: WAIT A MINUTE! THE NEUROETHICIST!
Panel 11: (the neuroethicist gestures, the heroine looks on)
Panel 12 (the heroine fires a jetpack-style weapon, a long red blast): FWOOSH!
Panel 13 (the dark-haired figure looms over the scene):
Figure: SO, SHOULD I PUNISH YOU OR WHAT?
Panel 14:
Villain: IT'S COMPLICATED! EVERYTHING'S COMPLICATED! HAHAHAHA HAHA!
Votey: One person, off-screen behind a computer/monitor: WHY DOES HE HAVE A JETPACK? A second person replies, lounging back: YOU KNOW NOTHING OF COMICS.
Alt text
A superhero comic. A superheroine in a star-emblem costume and tiara bursts in shouting "AAH!" and tells a masked, bald villain "It's jail time for you, crook!" The villain reacts with surprise ("You did it! Oh my god") and explains he had tumor-induced kleptomania that doctors said was inoperable, but her punch to his head cured the urge to steal. He hands back the stolen money and thanks her, but she says she still has to arrest him. He argues he's a new person: the part of his personality that committed the crime has been killed, the rest of him is innocent, so further punishment is unjust, and besides, she's a hero, not a villain, right? She stammers "I... I..." A long-haired figure appears and announces "The neuroethicist!" In the next beat the heroine fires a jetpack-mounted weapon with a long red blast. A looming dark-haired figure then asks "So, should I punish you or what?" and the villain dissolves into laughter: "It's complicated! Everything's complicated! Hahahaha haha!" Votey: Two people are watching the comic; one asks "Why does he have a jetpack?" and the other replies dismissively, "You know nothing of comics."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.