2013-06-17
Original: 2013-06-17 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (titled EDEN):
God (speaking from the sun in the sky): EVE, I HAVE ONE RULE: DON'T EAT ADAM. THAT'S THE ONE THING I FORBID. GOOD? OKAY. TOMORROW, I'LL TEACH YOU THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL.
Panel 2 (titled LATER):
Eve (bloody-mouthed, gnawing on Adam's arm as he lies dead/limp): YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! NOBODY TELLS HUMANS WHAT TO DO! NOBODY!
Panel 3 (titled EDEN v2):
God (speaking from the sun): EVE, I HAVE ONLY ONE RULE. DON'T EAT FROM... UH... THAT TREE. (gesturing to a fruit tree)
Votey:
The sun (drawn with a face): MAN, DO I HATE HUMANS.
God (speaking from the sun in the sky): EVE, I HAVE ONE RULE: DON'T EAT ADAM. THAT'S THE ONE THING I FORBID. GOOD? OKAY. TOMORROW, I'LL TEACH YOU THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL.
Panel 2 (titled LATER):
Eve (bloody-mouthed, gnawing on Adam's arm as he lies dead/limp): YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! NOBODY TELLS HUMANS WHAT TO DO! NOBODY!
Panel 3 (titled EDEN v2):
God (speaking from the sun): EVE, I HAVE ONLY ONE RULE. DON'T EAT FROM... UH... THAT TREE. (gesturing to a fruit tree)
Votey:
The sun (drawn with a face): MAN, DO I HATE HUMANS.
Alt text
A three-panel SMBC comic retelling the Garden of Eden. Panel 1, titled 'EDEN': God, depicted as the sun in a blue sky, tells Eve, 'Eve, I have one rule: don't eat Adam. That's the one thing I forbid. Good? Okay. Tomorrow, I'll teach you the knowledge of good and evil.' Eve listens in the foreground. Panel 2, titled 'LATER': Eve, with blood on her mouth and hands, is cannibalistically gnawing on Adam's arm as he lies limp on the ground. She shouts, 'You don't tell me what to do! Nobody tells humans what to do! Nobody!' Panel 3, titled 'EDEN v2': God-as-sun tries again with a more vaguely-worded rule, pointing to a fruit tree: 'Eve, I have only one rule. Don't eat from... uh... that tree.' The joke: God's first, literal prohibition backfired so badly (Eve ate Adam out of spite) that he reframes the rule around a tree instead. Votey: A close-up of the sun, now with a grumpy face, muttering, 'Man, do I hate humans.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.