2013-06-02
Original: 2013-06-02 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (a man falling through the sky):
Falling man: I call that the falling problem!
Panel 2 (instructional/narration text, left):
You encounter it when you first enjoy physics. You realize that if you were ever dropped from a plane without a parachute, you could calculate with a high degree of accuracy how long it'd take you to hit the ground and where you would deposit into the earth.
Panel 3 (narration text, right):
And yet, you would still be as dead as a particularly stupid gorilla dropped from that same distance.
Panel 4 (narration text):
Mastery of the nature of reality grants you no mastery over the behavior of reality.
Panel 5 (a green-haired person speaking to a brown-haired person):
Green-haired person: I could tell you why grandma is very sick. I could tell you what each cell is doing wrong, why it's doing wrong, and roughly when it started doing wrong.
Panel 6 (the brown-haired person replies):
Brown-haired person: But I can't tell them to stop?
Panel 7:
Brown-haired person: Why can't you make a machine to fix it?
Panel 8:
Green-haired person: Same reason you can't make a parachute when you fall from the plane.
Panel 9:
Brown-haired person: Because it's too hard?
Panel 10:
Green-haired person: Nothing is too hard. Many things are too fast.
Panel 11 (two silhouetted figures, the falling man returns):
Falling man (silhouette): I think I could solve the falling problem with a jetpack... can someone get me the parts?
Panel 12:
Other figure (silhouette): That's all I do, kiddo.
Votey:
Hand-lettered text on a sign/panel: THE JET PACK IS A METAPHOR FOR OVERTHROWING THE GOVERNMENT
Falling man: I call that the falling problem!
Panel 2 (instructional/narration text, left):
You encounter it when you first enjoy physics. You realize that if you were ever dropped from a plane without a parachute, you could calculate with a high degree of accuracy how long it'd take you to hit the ground and where you would deposit into the earth.
Panel 3 (narration text, right):
And yet, you would still be as dead as a particularly stupid gorilla dropped from that same distance.
Panel 4 (narration text):
Mastery of the nature of reality grants you no mastery over the behavior of reality.
Panel 5 (a green-haired person speaking to a brown-haired person):
Green-haired person: I could tell you why grandma is very sick. I could tell you what each cell is doing wrong, why it's doing wrong, and roughly when it started doing wrong.
Panel 6 (the brown-haired person replies):
Brown-haired person: But I can't tell them to stop?
Panel 7:
Brown-haired person: Why can't you make a machine to fix it?
Panel 8:
Green-haired person: Same reason you can't make a parachute when you fall from the plane.
Panel 9:
Brown-haired person: Because it's too hard?
Panel 10:
Green-haired person: Nothing is too hard. Many things are too fast.
Panel 11 (two silhouetted figures, the falling man returns):
Falling man (silhouette): I think I could solve the falling problem with a jetpack... can someone get me the parts?
Panel 12:
Other figure (silhouette): That's all I do, kiddo.
Votey:
Hand-lettered text on a sign/panel: THE JET PACK IS A METAPHOR FOR OVERTHROWING THE GOVERNMENT
Alt text
A tall vertical SMBC comic. At the top, a man falls through the sky and declares, "I call that the falling problem!" Two blocks of narration explain that when you first enjoy physics you realize you could precisely calculate how long it'd take to hit the ground if dropped from a plane without a parachute and where you'd land, and yet you would still die just like a particularly stupid gorilla dropped from the same distance, because mastery of the nature of reality grants no mastery over the behavior of reality. Below, a green-haired person tells a brown-haired person, "I could tell you why grandma is very sick. I could tell you what each cell is doing wrong, why it's doing wrong, and roughly when it started doing wrong." The brown-haired person asks, "But I can't tell them to stop? Why can't you make a machine to fix it?" The green-haired person replies, "Same reason you can't make a parachute when you fall from the plane." "Because it's too hard?" "Nothing is too hard. Many things are too fast." At the bottom, in silhouette, the falling man says he thinks he could solve the falling problem with a jetpack and asks for the parts; the other figure answers, "That's all I do, kiddo." The votey is a hand-lettered sign reading: "THE JET PACK IS A METAPHOR FOR OVERTHROWING THE GOVERNMENT."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.