2013-06-04
Original: 2013-06-04 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Girl with brown hair (lemonade stand operator): According to the Independent Lemonade Advisory Board, my stand is the only one with A+ ratings in flavor, health and quality.
Panel 2:
Brown-haired girl: The way we see it, our lemonade costs a little extra, but we're the only stand that's certified to be worth the price.
Panel 3:
Red-haired woman: According to the ILAB website, you're a consulting partner. Isn't that a problem?
Brown-haired girl: Ha, well that's a common misconception.
Panel 4:
Brown-haired girl: I mean, how is someone supposed to know how to rate a lemonade stand if she doesn't run a lemonade stand?
Panel 5:
Red-haired woman: I don't think I want to support such a system.
Panel 6:
Brown-haired girl: Well, go ahead. Go have a lemonade down at Susie Baker's stand. Sure, they have a D RATING for not wearing two layers of latex gloves while mixing. But hey, there are cures for cholera and dysentery today.
Panel 7:
Red-haired woman: *sigh*
Red-haired woman: How much for the lemonade?
Brown-haired girl: $40.00 per ounce. Thanks, Mom!
Votey:
Red-haired woman (off-panel): Your ruthlessness is nauseating.
Brown-haired girl (off-panel): So... you're saying you want stock?
Girl with brown hair (lemonade stand operator): According to the Independent Lemonade Advisory Board, my stand is the only one with A+ ratings in flavor, health and quality.
Panel 2:
Brown-haired girl: The way we see it, our lemonade costs a little extra, but we're the only stand that's certified to be worth the price.
Panel 3:
Red-haired woman: According to the ILAB website, you're a consulting partner. Isn't that a problem?
Brown-haired girl: Ha, well that's a common misconception.
Panel 4:
Brown-haired girl: I mean, how is someone supposed to know how to rate a lemonade stand if she doesn't run a lemonade stand?
Panel 5:
Red-haired woman: I don't think I want to support such a system.
Panel 6:
Brown-haired girl: Well, go ahead. Go have a lemonade down at Susie Baker's stand. Sure, they have a D RATING for not wearing two layers of latex gloves while mixing. But hey, there are cures for cholera and dysentery today.
Panel 7:
Red-haired woman: *sigh*
Red-haired woman: How much for the lemonade?
Brown-haired girl: $40.00 per ounce. Thanks, Mom!
Votey:
Red-haired woman (off-panel): Your ruthlessness is nauseating.
Brown-haired girl (off-panel): So... you're saying you want stock?
Alt text
A multi-panel comic in which a young brown-haired girl runs a lemonade stand and talks like a corporate salesperson. She boasts that her stand is the only one with A+ ratings from the "Independent Lemonade Advisory Board" in flavor, health, and quality, and that her pricier lemonade is certified worth the cost. A skeptical red-haired woman points out that, per the ILAB website, the girl is herself a "consulting partner" of the board, suggesting a conflict of interest. The girl waves this off as a common misconception, arguing only someone who runs a lemonade stand could rate one. The woman says she doesn't want to support such a system. The girl retorts that the woman could go to rival Susie Baker's stand, which got a D rating for not wearing two layers of latex gloves while mixing, but notes there are cures for cholera and dysentery today. Worn down, the woman sighs and asks how much for the lemonade. The girl cheerily replies "$40.00 per ounce. Thanks, Mom!", revealing the customer is her own mother. In the votey aftercomic, the mother says off-panel, "Your ruthlessness is nauseating," and the girl, mostly off-panel, replies, "So... you're saying you want stock?" The joke satirizes corporate ratings agencies, captive certification boards, and conflicts of interest, all played out through a child's lemonade stand.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.