2012-12-17
Original: 2012-12-17 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (Frank, to a red-haired woman): I had to sell my body to pay for our children to go to college.
Panel 2:
Frank: But I couldn't bear to do it with just anyone, so I went to our attractive neighbor.
Panel 3:
Frank: But, if she had paid for it, that would make me a prostitute, which is illegal.
Panel 4:
Frank: Because the profit was so low for each transaction, I tried to make up for it in volume.
Panel 5:
Red-haired woman: You could just confess to cheating on me, Frank.
Frank: Think of the children!
Votey:
A small egg-shaped creature: Speaking of which, we have some children you don't know about.
Man (Frank, to a red-haired woman): I had to sell my body to pay for our children to go to college.
Panel 2:
Frank: But I couldn't bear to do it with just anyone, so I went to our attractive neighbor.
Panel 3:
Frank: But, if she had paid for it, that would make me a prostitute, which is illegal.
Panel 4:
Frank: Because the profit was so low for each transaction, I tried to make up for it in volume.
Panel 5:
Red-haired woman: You could just confess to cheating on me, Frank.
Frank: Think of the children!
Votey:
A small egg-shaped creature: Speaking of which, we have some children you don't know about.
Alt text
A five-panel comic in which a balding man named Frank confesses something to a red-haired woman, presumably his wife. Frank explains, with increasingly tortured logic, that he 'had to sell my body to pay for our children to go to college,' that he couldn't bear to do it with just anyone so he went to their attractive neighbor, and that since she paid him it would make him a prostitute (illegal) so he 'tried to make up for it in volume' because the per-transaction profit was so low. In the final panel the woman calmly says, 'You could just confess to cheating on me, Frank,' and Frank, looking anguished, pleads, 'Think of the children!' The joke is that he has constructed an elaborate economic justification rather than simply admit to an affair. Votey (aftercomic): a small egg-shaped doodle creature says, 'Speaking of which, we have some children you don't know about.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.