2012-12-16
Original: 2012-12-16 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Child: I dunno, imaginary apatosaurus.
Panel 2:
Child: I think Sally likes me, but maybe she just likes me because I shared my cake with her Wednesday.
Panel 3:
Child: I think maybe I want to marry her, but I'd also like to marry Natalie because she smells like peanut butter.
Panel 4:
Child: But will I ALWAYS like peanut butter? Should I MARRY it?
Panel 5:
Imaginary apatosaurus (smiling): Everyone I ever loved is dead and any descendant I might have left was killed in the aftermath of a gigantic asteroid impact.
Panel 6:
Child: I think I'll go with Sally because she's prettier.
Imaginary apatosaurus: I have nothing.
Votey:
First speaker (offscreen/silhouette): What's with you and peanut butter?
A man with spiky hair: Just wear it, woman.
Child: I dunno, imaginary apatosaurus.
Panel 2:
Child: I think Sally likes me, but maybe she just likes me because I shared my cake with her Wednesday.
Panel 3:
Child: I think maybe I want to marry her, but I'd also like to marry Natalie because she smells like peanut butter.
Panel 4:
Child: But will I ALWAYS like peanut butter? Should I MARRY it?
Panel 5:
Imaginary apatosaurus (smiling): Everyone I ever loved is dead and any descendant I might have left was killed in the aftermath of a gigantic asteroid impact.
Panel 6:
Child: I think I'll go with Sally because she's prettier.
Imaginary apatosaurus: I have nothing.
Votey:
First speaker (offscreen/silhouette): What's with you and peanut butter?
A man with spiky hair: Just wear it, woman.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A young child with brown hair, in a pink shirt, stands talking to a large green imaginary apatosaurus (a long-necked dinosaur) in a dim room with bookshelves. The child rambles about childhood romance: 'I dunno, imaginary apatosaurus. I think Sally likes me, but maybe she just likes me because I shared my cake with her Wednesday. I think maybe I want to marry her, but I'd also like to marry Natalie because she smells like peanut butter. But will I ALWAYS like peanut butter? Should I MARRY it?' The dinosaur, smiling sadly, replies: 'Everyone I ever loved is dead and any descendant I might have left was killed in the aftermath of a gigantic asteroid impact.' In the final panel the child, oblivious, says 'I think I'll go with Sally because she's prettier,' while the dinosaur, defeated, says 'I have nothing.' The joke contrasts the child's trivial worries with the dinosaur's genuine existential despair, which the child completely ignores. Votey (bonus panel, rough black-and-white sketch): a person in silhouette asks 'What's with you and peanut butter?' and a man with spiky hair replies, 'Just wear it, woman.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.