2012-12-14
Original: 2012-12-14 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (narrator caption): SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE WE ARE PROBABLY IN A SIMULATION.
Speaker (a calm man, silhouetted): IF IT'S POSSIBLE TO MAKE A SIMULATION IN THIS UNIVERSE, IT'S PROBABLE THAT MOST UNIVERSES ARE SIMULATED, IN WHICH CASE, MOST SAPIENT BEINGS DON'T LIVE IN A "REAL" UNIVERSE.
Panel 2 (narrator caption): BUT CONSIDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES UNDER WHICH SIMULATIONS ARE MADE.
A man with flame-like orange hair, lying on the floor amid scattered debris, looking furious: THIS UNIVERSE IS SHIT! I'M GONNA MAKE A BETTER ONE.
Panel 3 (narrator caption): IF THE UNIVERSE WERE PERFECT FOR ALL, WHY CREATE A NEW ONE?
A bespectacled person (in profile, foreground): ANYONE IN HERE WANT TO BUILD A NEW UNIVERSE?
A person in a crowd of relaxed, partially-clothed people (one holding a plate of pie): SURE. RIGHT AFTER THE ORAL SEX AND PIE, BUT I... WAIT, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING AGAIN?
Panel 4 (narrator caption): THIS LEAVES TWO POSSIBILITIES: THE UNLIKELY ONE IS THAT YOU'RE NOT IN A SIMULATION. THE LIKELY ONE IS YOU'RE IN A SIMULATION CREATED BY AN ABUSED NARCISSISTIC PARIAH FROM HIS OWN REALITY.
Off-panel voice from a yellow oval (a face on a screen/device above a base): SCREW EVERYONE! I'D RATHER LIVE IN A FANTASY THAN THIS HORRIBLE EXISTENCE! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! AHAHA HAHA!
Panel 5 (narrator caption): OF COURSE, THIS WOULD BE HARD TO TEST, BUT IT DOES FIT THE DATA PRETTY WELL.
A small boy: DO YOU EVER GET MAD AT GOD FOR ALLOWING HUNGER AND PESTILENCE AND WAR?
A priest: WELL... HE COMES FROM A REALLY ROUGH BACKGROUND, OKAY?
Votey:
An off-panel speaker asks a large rounded planet/Earth-like character: WHY THE FLOOD?
The planet character (with a sheepish face): SORRY, I HAVE ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES.
Speaker (a calm man, silhouetted): IF IT'S POSSIBLE TO MAKE A SIMULATION IN THIS UNIVERSE, IT'S PROBABLE THAT MOST UNIVERSES ARE SIMULATED, IN WHICH CASE, MOST SAPIENT BEINGS DON'T LIVE IN A "REAL" UNIVERSE.
Panel 2 (narrator caption): BUT CONSIDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES UNDER WHICH SIMULATIONS ARE MADE.
A man with flame-like orange hair, lying on the floor amid scattered debris, looking furious: THIS UNIVERSE IS SHIT! I'M GONNA MAKE A BETTER ONE.
Panel 3 (narrator caption): IF THE UNIVERSE WERE PERFECT FOR ALL, WHY CREATE A NEW ONE?
A bespectacled person (in profile, foreground): ANYONE IN HERE WANT TO BUILD A NEW UNIVERSE?
A person in a crowd of relaxed, partially-clothed people (one holding a plate of pie): SURE. RIGHT AFTER THE ORAL SEX AND PIE, BUT I... WAIT, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING AGAIN?
Panel 4 (narrator caption): THIS LEAVES TWO POSSIBILITIES: THE UNLIKELY ONE IS THAT YOU'RE NOT IN A SIMULATION. THE LIKELY ONE IS YOU'RE IN A SIMULATION CREATED BY AN ABUSED NARCISSISTIC PARIAH FROM HIS OWN REALITY.
Off-panel voice from a yellow oval (a face on a screen/device above a base): SCREW EVERYONE! I'D RATHER LIVE IN A FANTASY THAN THIS HORRIBLE EXISTENCE! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! AHAHA HAHA!
Panel 5 (narrator caption): OF COURSE, THIS WOULD BE HARD TO TEST, BUT IT DOES FIT THE DATA PRETTY WELL.
A small boy: DO YOU EVER GET MAD AT GOD FOR ALLOWING HUNGER AND PESTILENCE AND WAR?
A priest: WELL... HE COMES FROM A REALLY ROUGH BACKGROUND, OKAY?
Votey:
An off-panel speaker asks a large rounded planet/Earth-like character: WHY THE FLOOD?
The planet character (with a sheepish face): SORRY, I HAVE ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic arguing the simulation hypothesis. Orange narrator captions run above each panel. Panel 1: a calm man in shadow says that if simulations are possible, most universes are simulated, so most sapient beings don't live in a 'real' universe. Panel 2 ('consider the circumstances under which simulations are made'): a furious man with flame-like orange hair sprawls on a debris-strewn floor shouting 'This universe is shit! I'm gonna make a better one.' Panel 3 ('if the universe were perfect for all, why create a new one?'): a bespectacled person asks a crowd of relaxed, half-dressed people (one holding pie) to build a new universe; they reply 'Sure, right after the oral sex and pie, but... wait, what were you saying again?' Panel 4 (narration concluding you're likely in a simulation made by 'an abused narcissistic pariah from his own reality'): a yellow face on a device screams 'Screw everyone! I'd rather live in a fantasy than this horrible existence! Hahaha!' Panel 5 ('it does fit the data pretty well'): a small boy asks a priest if he ever gets mad at God for allowing hunger, pestilence, and war; the priest answers 'Well... he comes from a really rough background, okay?' Votey: a simple black-and-white panel where someone asks a big round Earth-like character 'Why the flood?' and it sheepishly replies 'Sorry, I have anger management issues.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.