2012-10-03

A six-panel comic. A woman with glasses repeatedly alternates bad and good news to a man. Panel 1: She says, "Bad news. You're going to die soon." He says, "No." Panel 2: "Good news! The will to live is just programming bred into you by evolution. We can remove it with technology!" He warily says, "Yes?" Panel 3: "Bad news. The more you think about it, the more you'll perceive that a change in your most primal feelings represents practical annihilation -- death, merely, disguised in your delusion of persistent consciousness." He says, "Why'd you have to say that?" Panel 4: "Good news! We can use technology to remove your ability to feel bad about that too." He cheers, "Hooray!" Panel 5: "Bad news. Before we perform that procedure, you'll come to recognize it as equivalent to the first one I described. Only now it's two steps instead of one." He starts, "Why do you keep--" Panel 6: "Good news! We can add so many steps that they grow beyond any human's ability to parse and reread, that your imaginary consciousness experiences only a gentle fading-out as we imperceptibly ablate away more and more of your psyche." Exasperated, he asks, "Can I just have a gallon of morphine?" She replies, "Sorry, I don't believe in euthanasia." Votey: The woman, looking sweaty and unsettled behind her round glasses, says from an off-panel speech bubble, "You weirdo."