2012-10-02
Original: 2012-10-02 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
(No text. A green flying saucer approaches Earth from space.)
Panel 2:
Green alien (gesturing across a conference table at human officials): OUR PLANET IS RUNNING OUT OF SHALLOW PLATITUDES. IF WE RUN OUT, WE WILL DIE. AND IF WE DIE, WE WILL TAKE YOU WITH US.
Panel 3:
Green alien (close-up, mouth open): WE WILL RETURN EVERY 125 MILLION SECONDS FOR HARVEST. BUT BE AWARE... EVERY CYCLE... OUR HUNGER GROWS.
Panel 4:
Man (to woman on a couch): HONEY, EXPLAIN TO HIM HOW THE ELECTION CYCLE ACTUALLY WORKS.
Woman (holding a young boy beside her): I WANT TO START WITH SOMETHING BELIEVABLE?
Votey:
A man at a podium in a suit looks down, weary.
Man (thought/aside): GOD I HATE THIS.
Man (speaking aloud): WE MUST MOVE FORWARD NOT BACKWARD!
(No text. A green flying saucer approaches Earth from space.)
Panel 2:
Green alien (gesturing across a conference table at human officials): OUR PLANET IS RUNNING OUT OF SHALLOW PLATITUDES. IF WE RUN OUT, WE WILL DIE. AND IF WE DIE, WE WILL TAKE YOU WITH US.
Panel 3:
Green alien (close-up, mouth open): WE WILL RETURN EVERY 125 MILLION SECONDS FOR HARVEST. BUT BE AWARE... EVERY CYCLE... OUR HUNGER GROWS.
Panel 4:
Man (to woman on a couch): HONEY, EXPLAIN TO HIM HOW THE ELECTION CYCLE ACTUALLY WORKS.
Woman (holding a young boy beside her): I WANT TO START WITH SOMETHING BELIEVABLE?
Votey:
A man at a podium in a suit looks down, weary.
Man (thought/aside): GOD I HATE THIS.
Man (speaking aloud): WE MUST MOVE FORWARD NOT BACKWARD!
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a green flying saucer drifts through starry space toward a blue-and-green Earth. Panel 2: a green big-eyed alien stands at a conference table gesturing at seated human officials in suits and says, "Our planet is running out of shallow platitudes. If we run out, we will die. And if we die, we will take you with us." Panel 3: a close-up of the snarling alien declaring, "We will return every 125 million seconds for harvest. But be aware... every cycle... our hunger grows." Panel 4: in a living room, a man tells a woman sitting on a couch with a small boy, "Honey, explain to him how the election cycle actually works." The woman replies uneasily, "I want to start with something believable?" The joke: human politics is even less believable than alien invasion. Votey: a weary suited man at a podium thinks "God I hate this," while his speech bubble booms the empty slogan "We must move forward not backward!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.