2012-10-04
Original: 2012-10-04 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption): SEX PLAN TEN MINUTES AFTER LAST SEX ENCOUNTER
Diagram: Two boxes connected by a single arrow. Box 1: "START SEX". Box 2: "FINISH SEX".
Panel 2 (caption): SEX PLAN TEN HOURS AFTER LAST SEX ENCOUNTER
Diagram: A modest flowchart of about eight boxes with branching arrows, splitting into two labeled paths: "outdoor track" (top) and "indoor track" (bottom).
Panel 3 (caption): SEX PLAN 10 DAYS AFTER LAST SEX ENCOUNTER
Diagram: A much denser tangle of boxes and crossing arrows. Readable labels include: "analyze hormone profile", "occupation selection", "hotel", "motel", "Holiday Inn", "service", "company", "golf", "fire?", "memory", "Star Wars".
Panel 4 (caption): SEX PLAN 100 DAYS AFTER LAST SEX ENCOUNTER
Diagram: An almost completely incomprehensible web of hundreds of arrows and nodes filling the panel. Scattered readable labels include: "Prussia", "Chris Armenia", "epigenetics", "Preemptive War", "inverse reward", "P = NP", and "incidental proof for Fermat's Last Theorem".
Final panel (full color):
A man in a yellow shirt with a dark mask/visored helmet and a thick beard (left) faces a person on the right wearing a snorkel and dive mask with blue and green gear.
Masked man: "Okay... what are you?"
Snorkeler: "It involves scuba, time travel, spermaceti, AND NO MORE TALKING!"
Votey:
Caption: SEX PLAN 10 SECONDS AFTER SEX
Diagram: A single box reading "FOOD" with a short arrow pointing out of it.
Diagram: Two boxes connected by a single arrow. Box 1: "START SEX". Box 2: "FINISH SEX".
Panel 2 (caption): SEX PLAN TEN HOURS AFTER LAST SEX ENCOUNTER
Diagram: A modest flowchart of about eight boxes with branching arrows, splitting into two labeled paths: "outdoor track" (top) and "indoor track" (bottom).
Panel 3 (caption): SEX PLAN 10 DAYS AFTER LAST SEX ENCOUNTER
Diagram: A much denser tangle of boxes and crossing arrows. Readable labels include: "analyze hormone profile", "occupation selection", "hotel", "motel", "Holiday Inn", "service", "company", "golf", "fire?", "memory", "Star Wars".
Panel 4 (caption): SEX PLAN 100 DAYS AFTER LAST SEX ENCOUNTER
Diagram: An almost completely incomprehensible web of hundreds of arrows and nodes filling the panel. Scattered readable labels include: "Prussia", "Chris Armenia", "epigenetics", "Preemptive War", "inverse reward", "P = NP", and "incidental proof for Fermat's Last Theorem".
Final panel (full color):
A man in a yellow shirt with a dark mask/visored helmet and a thick beard (left) faces a person on the right wearing a snorkel and dive mask with blue and green gear.
Masked man: "Okay... what are you?"
Snorkeler: "It involves scuba, time travel, spermaceti, AND NO MORE TALKING!"
Votey:
Caption: SEX PLAN 10 SECONDS AFTER SEX
Diagram: A single box reading "FOOD" with a short arrow pointing out of it.
Alt text
A tall multi-panel SMBC comic showing a series of escalating flowcharts under the running header 'SEX PLAN [X] AFTER LAST SEX ENCOUNTER.' At ten minutes after, the plan is two boxes joined by one arrow: 'START SEX' to 'FINISH SEX.' At ten hours, it is a modest branching flowchart split into an 'outdoor track' and an 'indoor track.' At ten days, it has ballooned into a dense tangle of boxes and crossing arrows with stray labels like 'analyze hormone profile,' 'occupation selection,' 'Holiday Inn,' 'golf,' 'memory,' and 'Star Wars.' At 100 days, it is an almost unreadable web of hundreds of arrows filling the panel, with absurd nodes such as 'Prussia,' 'epigenetics,' 'Preemptive War,' 'P = NP,' and 'incidental proof for Fermat's Last Theorem' — the planning has spiraled into total madness. The final full-color panel reveals the result: a bearded man in a yellow shirt and dark visored helmet asks a person on the right, who is wearing a snorkel and dive mask, 'Okay... what are you?' The snorkeler replies, 'It involves scuba, time travel, spermaceti, AND NO MORE TALKING!' The joke: the longer someone goes without sex, the more elaborate and unhinged their fantasy plan becomes. Votey: a single box labeled 'FOOD' with an arrow, captioned 'SEX PLAN 10 SECONDS AFTER SEX' — immediately afterward, the only plan is food.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.