2011-09-06
Original: 2011-09-06 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: Two women sit at a table together. One has red hair, the other has dark hair.
Panel 2 (narration by an older bald man with glasses, shown in subsequent panels): "I saw you snickering at my codpiece. Perhaps you should consider the facts."
Panel 3:
Man: "ONE: Baldness is correlated with high testosterone."
Man: "TWO: Men who live in nursing homes are used to satisfying women who are so old they couldn't tell if their faces were on fire."
Panel 4:
Man: "THREE: Consider what sort of man is brazen enough to wear a codpiece this bad in public. He's a man without dread of social taboo."
Panel 5:
Man: "A man who's capable of anything anymore."
Man: "IN SHORT, a man who screams like a goddamn mountain gorilla."
Panel 6: The two women look at each other.
Panel 7:
Man: "Wanna come back to my place?"
Red-haired woman: "Could you at least wear a hat?"
Panel 8:
Man: "That better not be slang for condom."
Votey:
The man, now shirtless and grinning, with the two women: "Ladies, that was lovely."
Panel 2 (narration by an older bald man with glasses, shown in subsequent panels): "I saw you snickering at my codpiece. Perhaps you should consider the facts."
Panel 3:
Man: "ONE: Baldness is correlated with high testosterone."
Man: "TWO: Men who live in nursing homes are used to satisfying women who are so old they couldn't tell if their faces were on fire."
Panel 4:
Man: "THREE: Consider what sort of man is brazen enough to wear a codpiece this bad in public. He's a man without dread of social taboo."
Panel 5:
Man: "A man who's capable of anything anymore."
Man: "IN SHORT, a man who screams like a goddamn mountain gorilla."
Panel 6: The two women look at each other.
Panel 7:
Man: "Wanna come back to my place?"
Red-haired woman: "Could you at least wear a hat?"
Panel 8:
Man: "That better not be slang for condom."
Votey:
The man, now shirtless and grinning, with the two women: "Ladies, that was lovely."
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. Two women, one red-haired and one dark-haired, sit at a table. An older bald man with glasses and long stringy hair approaches and launches into a pitch to justify his codpiece. He argues: (1) baldness correlates with high testosterone; (2) men in nursing homes are experienced at satisfying very old women; (3) only a man brazen enough to wear such a bad codpiece in public is a man without fear of social taboo, capable of anything, who 'screams like a goddamn mountain gorilla.' He asks, 'Wanna come back to my place?' The red-haired woman replies, 'Could you at least wear a hat?' He answers, 'That better not be slang for condom.' Votey panel: the man, now shirtless and grinning ear to ear, embraces the two women and says, 'Ladies, that was lovely.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.