2011-09-03
Original: 2011-09-03 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption banner): SOME DAY YOU'LL EXPERIENCE TRAGEDY.
(Black-and-white silhouette scene: a man stands facing a gravestone in a dark landscape with mountains in the background.)
Panel 2 (caption banner): AND YET NOTHING WILL CHANGE. TIME WILL MOVE FORWARD, SPACE WILL EXPAND, AND THE FUNDAMENTAL CONSTANTS WILL REMAIN FUNDAMENTALLY CONSTANT.
Man (lying in bed at dawn, sun rising outside the window): WHAT THE?! THE SUN CAME UP? THE NERVE OF... I'M CALLING THE POLICE!
Panel 3 (caption banner): THE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE, LIKE A MATHEMATICIAN WHO TAKES EVERYTHING LITERALLY, HAVE NO SENSE OF PROPRIETY OR IRONY.
Man (on the phone): I'M PERFECTLY AWARE THE SUN IS A MINDLESS BALL OF PLASMA, BUT MY WIFE IS DEAD! YES, A COUPLE OF SQUAD CARS SHOULD DO. NO. NO, I... WHAT? OH YEAH?! YEAH, WELL YOUR MOM HAS BEEN "DRIVEN MAD BY GRIEF!"
Panel 4 (caption banner): THIS IS THE ESSENTIAL JOKE OF REALITY: IT GOES ON.
Man (holding phone, looking weary): WILL IT ALL CONTINUE AFTER I'M GONE?
Voice on phone: SIR, PLEASE STOP CALLING THE FIRE DEPARTMENT.
Votey:
Man: IS MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING A FARCE?
Voice (from a lightning-bolt-shaped speech burst): FOR THE LAST TIME, YES!
(Black-and-white silhouette scene: a man stands facing a gravestone in a dark landscape with mountains in the background.)
Panel 2 (caption banner): AND YET NOTHING WILL CHANGE. TIME WILL MOVE FORWARD, SPACE WILL EXPAND, AND THE FUNDAMENTAL CONSTANTS WILL REMAIN FUNDAMENTALLY CONSTANT.
Man (lying in bed at dawn, sun rising outside the window): WHAT THE?! THE SUN CAME UP? THE NERVE OF... I'M CALLING THE POLICE!
Panel 3 (caption banner): THE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE, LIKE A MATHEMATICIAN WHO TAKES EVERYTHING LITERALLY, HAVE NO SENSE OF PROPRIETY OR IRONY.
Man (on the phone): I'M PERFECTLY AWARE THE SUN IS A MINDLESS BALL OF PLASMA, BUT MY WIFE IS DEAD! YES, A COUPLE OF SQUAD CARS SHOULD DO. NO. NO, I... WHAT? OH YEAH?! YEAH, WELL YOUR MOM HAS BEEN "DRIVEN MAD BY GRIEF!"
Panel 4 (caption banner): THIS IS THE ESSENTIAL JOKE OF REALITY: IT GOES ON.
Man (holding phone, looking weary): WILL IT ALL CONTINUE AFTER I'M GONE?
Voice on phone: SIR, PLEASE STOP CALLING THE FIRE DEPARTMENT.
Votey:
Man: IS MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING A FARCE?
Voice (from a lightning-bolt-shaped speech burst): FOR THE LAST TIME, YES!
Alt text
A four-panel comic, each panel topped with an orange caption banner. Panel 1 banner: "Some day you'll experience tragedy." The image is a black silhouette of a man standing before a gravestone with mountains behind. Panel 2 banner: "And yet nothing will change. Time will move forward, space will expand, and the fundamental constants will remain fundamentally constant." A man lies in bed as the sun rises in the window, shouting, "What the?! The sun came up? The nerve of... I'm calling the police!" Panel 3 banner: "The laws of the universe, like a mathematician who takes everything literally, have no sense of propriety or irony." The man, on the phone, rants, "I'm perfectly aware the sun is a mindless ball of plasma, but my wife is dead! Yes, a couple of squad cars should do. No. No, I... What? Oh yeah?! Yeah, well your mom has been 'driven mad by grief!'" Panel 4 banner: "This is the essential joke of reality: it goes on." The man, weary, asks his phone, "Will it all continue after I'm gone?" The voice replies, "Sir, please stop calling the fire department." Votey (small bonus panel, black and white): The man asks, "Is man's search for meaning a farce?" A reply bursts from a jagged lightning-bolt speech shape: "For the last time, yes!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.