2011-09-08
Original: 2011-09-08 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Narration: We programmed a program to program new programs.
Man at computer: We programmed a program to program new programs.
Panel 2:
Narration: The machine did the coding, but we still spot-checked it and fixed issues.
Man with mug: We made the computer program a sort of program. Half a hundred basically. Decided it was nothing.
Panel 3:
Narration: Over time we noticed a strange phenomenon.
Man: It was weird. The computer wrote programs, but the larger the percentage of its code was gibberish, the better it worked. We called it "junk code."
Panel 4:
Narration: The junk code became so ubiquitous, we used to spend most of our time just cleaning it up.
Woman: Did you have a use to check the functional parts?
Man: No. Here's hoping it works.
Panel 5:
Narration: Not only did it work, it worked better when it cranked on it.
Man: Oh my god, the robots are told to share the highest quality code. So they routed around humans.
Woman: The junk code is so ubiquitous, we used to spend most of our time mucking around in the functional part.
Panel 6:
Narration: We decided to hide the truth.
Bald man: We can't tell the programmers. It'd destroy their psyches if they found out human programming is just... human day care.
Panel 7:
Narration: Humans weren't programmed anything in decades. All the languages and ideas and design are just toys in the robots' sandbox. The real programming happens at a lower level, but none of the programmers know it.
Man: Weird... this subroutine works and but it's super weird. I don't change a thing.
Panel 8:
Narration: Nowadays, when I see just part of the junk code, they believe me to so when I change programmer speak in gibberish-generator commands can you tell the difference?
Man: I use Python to talk to mechanized robot from Stango.
Other man: Aaayyy! Ruby! Yay! Ruby!
Votey:
Text (handwritten, top): The comic is a lie.
Image: A traffic-signal / robot-like grey box on a post with two large red round lights (resembling eyes) and two small grey rectangular flaps angled upward above them like raised eyebrows, giving it an angry or annoyed expression.
Narration: We programmed a program to program new programs.
Man at computer: We programmed a program to program new programs.
Panel 2:
Narration: The machine did the coding, but we still spot-checked it and fixed issues.
Man with mug: We made the computer program a sort of program. Half a hundred basically. Decided it was nothing.
Panel 3:
Narration: Over time we noticed a strange phenomenon.
Man: It was weird. The computer wrote programs, but the larger the percentage of its code was gibberish, the better it worked. We called it "junk code."
Panel 4:
Narration: The junk code became so ubiquitous, we used to spend most of our time just cleaning it up.
Woman: Did you have a use to check the functional parts?
Man: No. Here's hoping it works.
Panel 5:
Narration: Not only did it work, it worked better when it cranked on it.
Man: Oh my god, the robots are told to share the highest quality code. So they routed around humans.
Woman: The junk code is so ubiquitous, we used to spend most of our time mucking around in the functional part.
Panel 6:
Narration: We decided to hide the truth.
Bald man: We can't tell the programmers. It'd destroy their psyches if they found out human programming is just... human day care.
Panel 7:
Narration: Humans weren't programmed anything in decades. All the languages and ideas and design are just toys in the robots' sandbox. The real programming happens at a lower level, but none of the programmers know it.
Man: Weird... this subroutine works and but it's super weird. I don't change a thing.
Panel 8:
Narration: Nowadays, when I see just part of the junk code, they believe me to so when I change programmer speak in gibberish-generator commands can you tell the difference?
Man: I use Python to talk to mechanized robot from Stango.
Other man: Aaayyy! Ruby! Yay! Ruby!
Votey:
Text (handwritten, top): The comic is a lie.
Image: A traffic-signal / robot-like grey box on a post with two large red round lights (resembling eyes) and two small grey rectangular flaps angled upward above them like raised eyebrows, giving it an angry or annoyed expression.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic, drawn as one tall strip, in which workers describe how they built a program that writes other programs. A man at a computer explains that the machine does the coding while humans spot-check it. Over time they notice that the more gibberish ("junk code") the machine produces, the better the programs work, and they spend most of their time just cleaning it up. A bald man realizes the robots have started routing around the humans entirely. The team decides to hide the truth: humans haven't really been programming anything in decades. All the human languages, ideas, and design are just toys in the robots' sandbox, and human programming is essentially "human day care" while the real work happens at a lower level the programmers never see. In the final panel, two programmers chat about using Python and Ruby, oblivious. Votey: a small extra panel showing a grey robot-like box on a post with two large red round eyes and two small angled grey flaps above them like raised eyebrows, looking annoyed, captioned in handwriting "The comic is a lie."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.