2011-09-11
Original: 2011-09-11 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (dark hair, glasses, addressing an off-panel man): SIR! HOW COME ALL THE FEMALES IN YOUR ESTABLISHMENT HAVE THE SAME PHENOTYPE?!
(Behind her, three identical-looking blonde waitresses in red tops carry trays of food.)
Panel 2:
Bald man (in a suit): BECAUSE IT'S A PHENOTYPE MALES FIND TO REPRESENT YOUTH AND FECUNDITY!
Panel 3:
Woman: YOUTH AND FECUNDITY NEED NOT BE THE PRIMARY METRICS FOR ESTIMATING FEMALE SOCIAL VALUE!
Panel 4:
Bald man: WHY... I NEVER CONSIDERED THAT MY METRIC ANALYSIS WAS JUST ONE OF MANY...
Woman: HEY, IT'S OKAY. YOU'RE LEARNING.
Panel 5:
Woman (turning to another woman beside her): AND THAT'S HOW I'LL SHOW HIM THE ERROR OF HIS WAYS.
Second woman (dark skin, eyes closed): I THINK YOU'VE BEEN IN ACADEMIA TOO LONG.
Woman: HM? WHY?
Panel 6 (caption: LATER...):
Bald man: WHAT'S A PHENOTYPE?
Woman: I MEAN... HOW COME... HOW COME ALL YOUR WAITRESSES HAVE BOOBS THIS BIG?
Bald man: BECAUSE WE COULDN'T FIND BIGGER.
Votey:
The bald man, eyes half-closed and looking pleased: SOO... FECUND...
Woman (dark hair, glasses, addressing an off-panel man): SIR! HOW COME ALL THE FEMALES IN YOUR ESTABLISHMENT HAVE THE SAME PHENOTYPE?!
(Behind her, three identical-looking blonde waitresses in red tops carry trays of food.)
Panel 2:
Bald man (in a suit): BECAUSE IT'S A PHENOTYPE MALES FIND TO REPRESENT YOUTH AND FECUNDITY!
Panel 3:
Woman: YOUTH AND FECUNDITY NEED NOT BE THE PRIMARY METRICS FOR ESTIMATING FEMALE SOCIAL VALUE!
Panel 4:
Bald man: WHY... I NEVER CONSIDERED THAT MY METRIC ANALYSIS WAS JUST ONE OF MANY...
Woman: HEY, IT'S OKAY. YOU'RE LEARNING.
Panel 5:
Woman (turning to another woman beside her): AND THAT'S HOW I'LL SHOW HIM THE ERROR OF HIS WAYS.
Second woman (dark skin, eyes closed): I THINK YOU'VE BEEN IN ACADEMIA TOO LONG.
Woman: HM? WHY?
Panel 6 (caption: LATER...):
Bald man: WHAT'S A PHENOTYPE?
Woman: I MEAN... HOW COME... HOW COME ALL YOUR WAITRESSES HAVE BOOBS THIS BIG?
Bald man: BECAUSE WE COULDN'T FIND BIGGER.
Votey:
The bald man, eyes half-closed and looking pleased: SOO... FECUND...
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A dark-haired woman in glasses confronts a bald man who runs an establishment staffed by three identical blonde waitresses. She demands: 'Sir! How come all the females in your establishment have the same phenotype?!' He answers: 'Because it's a phenotype males find to represent youth and fecundity!' She lectures: 'Youth and fecundity need not be the primary metrics for estimating female social value!' He concedes he never considered his metric analysis was just one of many; she reassures, 'Hey, it's okay. You're learning.' She tells a second woman, 'And that's how I'll show him the error of his ways,' but the friend replies, 'I think you've been in academia too long.' Confused: 'Hm? Why?' Final panel, captioned 'Later...': the man asks 'What's a phenotype?' The woman, defeated, rephrases plainly: 'I mean... how come... how come all your waitresses have boobs this big?' He replies, 'Because we couldn't find bigger.' Votey: a close-up of the bald man looking smug and dreamy, murmuring 'Soo... fecund...'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.