2011-07-27
Original: 2011-07-27 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman: I love you.
Man: No you don't.
Panel 2:
Man: You're a temporary holographic representation of my husband, in use by me while he's away for the weekend.
Woman: But... I feel like I'm really your husband.
Man: That's just your main appearance.
Panel 3:
Woman: But if I feel like him, and I can think too... I mean, don't I have any moral standing?
Man: No.
Panel 4:
Man: You're not an evolved being. The fact that you have any self-preserving impulse is just because it copied it over from a broader suite of personality traits.
Panel 5:
Woman: But... listen, you're only gonna exist for another few hours. We can either make use of our enhanced sexual prowess for your entire lifetime, or we can talk metaphysics till we're sad.
Man: Yeah.
Panel 6:
(A new figure enters the doorway.)
New arrival: Hey honey!
Panel 7:
The new arrival (the real husband, in a suit): Sweetie? You're home early.
Panel 8:
The husband (now without suit): I see you've made a sexy duplicate of me. Naughty. Shall we all go to the bedroom?
Woman: Hmm... just a moment.
Panel 9:
The woman holds up a tablet/device.
Woman: I stand by starting to consider it cheating then demonstrating a virtual mind is morally equivalent to a human.
Device screen reads: ON THE NUDE INFIDELITY CRITICAL THINKING [EMOTIONAL?] [LIST]
Panel 10:
Man (left): Sex?
Woman (right): Sex!
Votey:
Man (smiling): Mmm... recursion...
Woman: I love you.
Man: No you don't.
Panel 2:
Man: You're a temporary holographic representation of my husband, in use by me while he's away for the weekend.
Woman: But... I feel like I'm really your husband.
Man: That's just your main appearance.
Panel 3:
Woman: But if I feel like him, and I can think too... I mean, don't I have any moral standing?
Man: No.
Panel 4:
Man: You're not an evolved being. The fact that you have any self-preserving impulse is just because it copied it over from a broader suite of personality traits.
Panel 5:
Woman: But... listen, you're only gonna exist for another few hours. We can either make use of our enhanced sexual prowess for your entire lifetime, or we can talk metaphysics till we're sad.
Man: Yeah.
Panel 6:
(A new figure enters the doorway.)
New arrival: Hey honey!
Panel 7:
The new arrival (the real husband, in a suit): Sweetie? You're home early.
Panel 8:
The husband (now without suit): I see you've made a sexy duplicate of me. Naughty. Shall we all go to the bedroom?
Woman: Hmm... just a moment.
Panel 9:
The woman holds up a tablet/device.
Woman: I stand by starting to consider it cheating then demonstrating a virtual mind is morally equivalent to a human.
Device screen reads: ON THE NUDE INFIDELITY CRITICAL THINKING [EMOTIONAL?] [LIST]
Panel 10:
Man (left): Sex?
Woman (right): Sex!
Votey:
Man (smiling): Mmm... recursion...
Alt text
A nine-panel SMBC comic, vertically tall. A woman and man are in a bedroom, both nude. The woman says "I love you," and the man replies "No you don't." He explains she is a temporary holographic representation of his husband, in use while he is away for the weekend; she protests that she feels like she really is his husband, but he says that is just her main appearance. She asks whether, since she can feel and think, she has any moral standing; he flatly says "No." He argues she is not an evolved being and her self-preservation impulse was merely copied from a broader suite of personality traits. She counters pragmatically: she will only exist a few more hours, so they can either make use of their enhanced sexual prowess for her entire lifetime, or talk metaphysics until they are sad. He agrees. Then the real husband arrives home early in a suit, calling "Hey honey!" Stripping down, he sees the sexy duplicate of himself and suggests they all go to the bedroom. The woman pauses, holding up a tablet, saying she stands by first treating it as cheating and then demonstrating a virtual mind is morally equivalent to a human. The two men finally exchange "Sex?" / "Sex!" In the bonus votey panel, a smiling man says, "Mmm... recursion..."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.