2011-05-10
Original: 2011-05-10 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Narration (caption): THE GENE PERSPECTIVE OF EVOLUTION SAYS YOU'RE BASICALLY A MULE FOR GENETIC CODE.
A red-haired man stands in a grassy landscape next to a large green DNA double helix. The man: HYA!
Panel 2
Narration (caption): IT'S DISTRESSING, BUT IT DOES EXPLAIN THE PROFUSION OF BEHAVIORS THAT BENEFIT YOUR GENES WHILE SCREWING YOU.
The blond-haired man (seen from behind) faces a dark-haired woman. The woman (thought): I DON'T LIKE THIS GUY. HE'S TOO AGGRESSIVE. MAYBE I'LL JUST HAVE A LITTLE SEX WITH HIM.
Panel 3
Narration (caption): YOUR PERSONAL GENETIC SEQUENCE WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE MORE THAN A SHORT DISTANCE FROM YOUR BODY.
A blue equation panel:
L_s = SPERM LIFESPAN: ~1 hr
S_J = JETLINER MAX SPEED: ~600 mi/hr
L_s . S_J = 600 mi *
* Roughly the distance to your mom's house.
Panel 4
Narration (caption): BUT, MANY OF THE SEQUENCES IN YOUR GENOME WILL SOMEDAY ARRIVE ON FAR AWAY PLANETS IN DISTANT GALAXIES, HEEDLESS OF THE RIDE YOU GAVE IT MILLENIA AGO.
A bald figure in a spacesuit helmet stands on an alien red landscape beside a green DNA helix, two suns overhead. The figure: HYA!
Panel 5
Narration (caption): OR YOU COULD JUST GET STERILIZED.
The red-haired man embraces the dark-haired woman in a romantic scene; a green DNA helix stands on a side table nearby. The DNA helix: HEY! STOP THAT! IT'S MEANINGLESS NOW!
Votey:
A green DNA double helix with a speech bubble: LESS READING CARTOONS, MORE DUPLICATING ME!
Narration (caption): THE GENE PERSPECTIVE OF EVOLUTION SAYS YOU'RE BASICALLY A MULE FOR GENETIC CODE.
A red-haired man stands in a grassy landscape next to a large green DNA double helix. The man: HYA!
Panel 2
Narration (caption): IT'S DISTRESSING, BUT IT DOES EXPLAIN THE PROFUSION OF BEHAVIORS THAT BENEFIT YOUR GENES WHILE SCREWING YOU.
The blond-haired man (seen from behind) faces a dark-haired woman. The woman (thought): I DON'T LIKE THIS GUY. HE'S TOO AGGRESSIVE. MAYBE I'LL JUST HAVE A LITTLE SEX WITH HIM.
Panel 3
Narration (caption): YOUR PERSONAL GENETIC SEQUENCE WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE MORE THAN A SHORT DISTANCE FROM YOUR BODY.
A blue equation panel:
L_s = SPERM LIFESPAN: ~1 hr
S_J = JETLINER MAX SPEED: ~600 mi/hr
L_s . S_J = 600 mi *
* Roughly the distance to your mom's house.
Panel 4
Narration (caption): BUT, MANY OF THE SEQUENCES IN YOUR GENOME WILL SOMEDAY ARRIVE ON FAR AWAY PLANETS IN DISTANT GALAXIES, HEEDLESS OF THE RIDE YOU GAVE IT MILLENIA AGO.
A bald figure in a spacesuit helmet stands on an alien red landscape beside a green DNA helix, two suns overhead. The figure: HYA!
Panel 5
Narration (caption): OR YOU COULD JUST GET STERILIZED.
The red-haired man embraces the dark-haired woman in a romantic scene; a green DNA helix stands on a side table nearby. The DNA helix: HEY! STOP THAT! IT'S MEANINGLESS NOW!
Votey:
A green DNA double helix with a speech bubble: LESS READING CARTOONS, MORE DUPLICATING ME!
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic about the "gene's-eye view" of evolution, each panel topped by a salmon-colored narration caption. Panel 1: a red-haired man stands beside a giant green DNA double helix in a field, shouting "HYA!" Caption: the gene perspective of evolution says you're basically a mule for genetic code. Panel 2: a dark-haired woman eyes a man and thinks, "I don't like this guy. He's too aggressive. Maybe I'll just have a little sex with him." Caption: it explains behaviors that benefit your genes while screwing you. Panel 3: a blue panel of mock equations stating your genetic sequence will probably never be more than a short distance from your body: sperm lifespan ~1 hr times jetliner max speed ~600 mi/hr equals 600 mi, footnoted "Roughly the distance to your mom's house." Panel 4: a bald figure in a spacesuit helmet on a red alien planet under two suns, beside a green DNA helix, shouting "HYA!" Caption: but many sequences in your genome will someday arrive on far-away planets, heedless of the ride you gave it. Panel 5: the red-haired man and the woman embrace romantically while a small green DNA helix on a side table protests, "HEY! STOP THAT! IT'S MEANINGLESS NOW!" Caption: or you could just get sterilized. Votey (aftercomic): the green DNA helix with a speech bubble saying, "Less reading cartoons, more duplicating me!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.