2011-02-12
Original: 2011-02-12 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Narration framing (italic caption below the panel): "Why won't you tell me your teenage fantasy?" she asked. "I want to live up to it."
"Well..." he began.
Inside the panel, a costumed superhero figure (a man in a dark blue military-style uniform with a red cape and a yellow visor/mask) leans in toward a young red-haired man seated at a computer.
Superhero (General): STEVE WIGGINS, WE NEED YOUR HELP! OUR SPACESHIP NEEDS TO GET TO THE DINOSAUR PLANET IN A HURRY. IT'S POWERED BY SEX WITH BATGIRL AND PRINCESS LEIA AT THE SAME TIME!
Seated red-haired young man (Steve Wiggins): YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE, GENERAL.
Votey:
Close-up of the red-haired young man, looking smug/satisfied.
Steve Wiggins: I KNEW ALL THIS GAMING WHILE MASTURBATING WAS FOR A PURPOSE.
Narration framing (italic caption below the panel): "Why won't you tell me your teenage fantasy?" she asked. "I want to live up to it."
"Well..." he began.
Inside the panel, a costumed superhero figure (a man in a dark blue military-style uniform with a red cape and a yellow visor/mask) leans in toward a young red-haired man seated at a computer.
Superhero (General): STEVE WIGGINS, WE NEED YOUR HELP! OUR SPACESHIP NEEDS TO GET TO THE DINOSAUR PLANET IN A HURRY. IT'S POWERED BY SEX WITH BATGIRL AND PRINCESS LEIA AT THE SAME TIME!
Seated red-haired young man (Steve Wiggins): YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE, GENERAL.
Votey:
Close-up of the red-haired young man, looking smug/satisfied.
Steve Wiggins: I KNEW ALL THIS GAMING WHILE MASTURBATING WAS FOR A PURPOSE.
Alt text
A man with flame-like red hair sits at a computer while a costumed superhero in a dark military uniform, red cape, and yellow visor leans in over his shoulder. The superhero exclaims, "STEVE WIGGINS, WE NEED YOUR HELP! OUR SPACESHIP NEEDS TO GET TO THE DINOSAUR PLANET IN A HURRY. IT'S POWERED BY SEX WITH BATGIRL AND PRINCESS LEIA AT THE SAME TIME!" The seated red-haired man replies confidently, "YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE, GENERAL." An italic caption beneath the panel frames this as a flashback to a teenage fantasy: "Why won't you tell me your teenage fantasy?" she asked. "I want to live up to it." "Well..." he began. In the votey, a close-up shows the red-haired man wearing a smug, satisfied expression as he says, "I KNEW ALL THIS GAMING WHILE MASTURBATING WAS FOR A PURPOSE." The joke: his absurd adolescent fantasy validates a lifetime of simultaneous gaming and masturbation.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.