2010-09-26
Original: 2010-09-26 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Superhero (caped, gripping a captured criminal): NOT SO FAST, CRIMINAL!
Panel 2:
Criminal: WAIT! IT'S MORE COMPLEX THAN YOU REALIZE! I'M MUGGING TO FEED MY FAMILY!
Panel 3:
Superhero: WHY CAN'T YOU FEED YOUR FAMILY?
Criminal: BASTARDS AT THE PLANT DON'T PAY US ENOUGH.
Panel 4:
Criminal: WAIT! WE WANT TO PAY MORE BUT THE BASTARDS IN GOVERNMENT DISINCENTIVIZE IT TOO STRONGLY!
Panel 5:
Criminal: WAIT! I WANT TO COME UP WITH A BETTER ECONOMIC SYSTEM, BUT STATISTICIANS DON'T UNDERSTAND CHAOS VERY WELL.
Panel 6:
Criminal: WAIT! I'D LOVE TO UNDERSTAND CHAOS, BUT THE WORLD IS FULL OF HIDDEN VARIABLES.
Panel 7:
Superhero: SO... SO WHO DO I PUNCH?
Criminal: REALITY IS COMPLEX. IF YOU WANT ANYTHING LIKE AN ANSWER, YOU'LL NEED TO LEARN PHYSICS, MATH, PHILOSOPHY, HISTORY...
Panel 8:
The superhero stands, silent and contemplative, no dialogue.
Panel 9:
The superhero, looking troubled/angry, faces the criminal (who now has flame-like hair); no dialogue.
Votey:
The criminal, leaning in close: THAT'S FOR MAKING ME EXPERIENCE INTROSPECTION!
Superhero (caped, gripping a captured criminal): NOT SO FAST, CRIMINAL!
Panel 2:
Criminal: WAIT! IT'S MORE COMPLEX THAN YOU REALIZE! I'M MUGGING TO FEED MY FAMILY!
Panel 3:
Superhero: WHY CAN'T YOU FEED YOUR FAMILY?
Criminal: BASTARDS AT THE PLANT DON'T PAY US ENOUGH.
Panel 4:
Criminal: WAIT! WE WANT TO PAY MORE BUT THE BASTARDS IN GOVERNMENT DISINCENTIVIZE IT TOO STRONGLY!
Panel 5:
Criminal: WAIT! I WANT TO COME UP WITH A BETTER ECONOMIC SYSTEM, BUT STATISTICIANS DON'T UNDERSTAND CHAOS VERY WELL.
Panel 6:
Criminal: WAIT! I'D LOVE TO UNDERSTAND CHAOS, BUT THE WORLD IS FULL OF HIDDEN VARIABLES.
Panel 7:
Superhero: SO... SO WHO DO I PUNCH?
Criminal: REALITY IS COMPLEX. IF YOU WANT ANYTHING LIKE AN ANSWER, YOU'LL NEED TO LEARN PHYSICS, MATH, PHILOSOPHY, HISTORY...
Panel 8:
The superhero stands, silent and contemplative, no dialogue.
Panel 9:
The superhero, looking troubled/angry, faces the criminal (who now has flame-like hair); no dialogue.
Votey:
The criminal, leaning in close: THAT'S FOR MAKING ME EXPERIENCE INTROSPECTION!
Alt text
A tall multi-panel comic. A caped superhero catches a criminal, declaring "Not so fast, criminal!" The criminal pleads that it's more complex: he's mugging to feed his family because the bastards at the plant don't pay enough; the plant wants to pay more but the bastards in government disincentivize it; he'd build a better economic system but statisticians don't understand chaos; he'd understand chaos but the world is full of hidden variables. The bewildered superhero asks, "So... so who do I punch?" The criminal answers that reality is complex and if he wants any kind of answer he'll need to learn physics, math, philosophy, history. The hero stands silent, then looks troubled, having been forced to confront the hopeless complexity of the problem. Votey: a close-up of the criminal leaning in and saying, "That's for making me experience introspection!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.