2010-08-04
Original: 2010-08-04 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man with red hair smiles.
Panel 2: A gloved hand (a genie's or magical figure's) holds out a small card or scrap.
Handwritten note (right side, top): "You may have anything you wish, but beware... -all- actions have consequences..."
Panel 3: The red-haired man stands in a living room, raising one finger.
Red-haired man: "I WISH SCIENCE TERMINOLOGY WERE MORE PRECISE."
A glowing green magical effect with a fist appears.
Sound effect (at the door): "knock knock"
Panel 4: A man with brown hair and glasses stands at the door handing over a green book.
The book cover reads: "SCIENCE"
The red-haired man stands beside him.
Panel 5: The red-haired man reads the green book, looking concerned. The cover reads: "SCIENC[E]"
Panel 6 (text page): "Science Bites:"
Today
*Pluto not a planet
*Brontosaurus not a dinosaur
*G-spot not a distinct anatomical feature
Panel 7: The red-haired man clutches his head in anguish, screaming.
Red-haired man: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Votey:
Handwritten caption: "WIL WHEATON NOT ACTUALLY ABLE TO BREATHE IN SPACE."
Panel 2: A gloved hand (a genie's or magical figure's) holds out a small card or scrap.
Handwritten note (right side, top): "You may have anything you wish, but beware... -all- actions have consequences..."
Panel 3: The red-haired man stands in a living room, raising one finger.
Red-haired man: "I WISH SCIENCE TERMINOLOGY WERE MORE PRECISE."
A glowing green magical effect with a fist appears.
Sound effect (at the door): "knock knock"
Panel 4: A man with brown hair and glasses stands at the door handing over a green book.
The book cover reads: "SCIENCE"
The red-haired man stands beside him.
Panel 5: The red-haired man reads the green book, looking concerned. The cover reads: "SCIENC[E]"
Panel 6 (text page): "Science Bites:"
Today
*Pluto not a planet
*Brontosaurus not a dinosaur
*G-spot not a distinct anatomical feature
Panel 7: The red-haired man clutches his head in anguish, screaming.
Red-haired man: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Votey:
Handwritten caption: "WIL WHEATON NOT ACTUALLY ABLE TO BREATHE IN SPACE."
Alt text
A seven-panel comic. A red-haired man is offered a wish by a gloved magical figure, with a handwritten note warning: "You may have anything you wish, but beware... all actions have consequences..." The man wishes, "I wish science terminology were more precise." A glowing magical effect appears, and there's a knock at the door. A bespectacled man delivers a green book titled "SCIENCE." The red-haired man reads it with growing dread. A page titled "Science Bites: Today" lists corrected facts: "Pluto not a planet," "Brontosaurus not a dinosaur," and "G-spot not a distinct anatomical feature." In the final panel the man clutches his head and screams, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" The joke: making science terminology precise means losing cherished beliefs. Votey: a handwritten caption reads "WIL WHEATON NOT ACTUALLY ABLE TO BREATHE IN SPACE," adding one more crushing precise fact.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.