2010-08-08
Original: 2010-08-08 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A bald, bearded older man in a suit stands at a podium flanked by American flags, with a white puppy beside him. He gestures toward the dog.
Man: "MY FELLOW AMERICANS, THIS IS MISTER BARKY, THE CUTEST PUPPY EVER. HE'S GOING TO ONE OF THOSE SCARY JAILS YOU SEE IN MOVIES TO AWAIT TRIAL FOR A CRIME HE DIDN'T COMMIT. BAIL IS SET AT 100 TRILLION DOLLARS."
Panel 2: A rolled-up newspaper. Headline: "WEALTHIEST PEOPLE ON EARTH BAND TOGETHER TO SAVE DOGGIE"
Panel 3: Another newspaper. Headline: "U.S. NATIONAL DEBT PAID IN FULL" (with a stock-chart-style graph trending upward).
Panel 4: The same bald, bearded man sits at a table while two people (a woman and an orange-haired person) face him.
Woman: "WHY NOT JUST CUT THE BUDGET A LITTLE?"
Man: "I WANTED A REALISTIC SOLUTION."
Votey: A grinning face (the schemer) in close-up, eyes narrowed.
"GOOD... JUST AS PLANNED..."
Man: "MY FELLOW AMERICANS, THIS IS MISTER BARKY, THE CUTEST PUPPY EVER. HE'S GOING TO ONE OF THOSE SCARY JAILS YOU SEE IN MOVIES TO AWAIT TRIAL FOR A CRIME HE DIDN'T COMMIT. BAIL IS SET AT 100 TRILLION DOLLARS."
Panel 2: A rolled-up newspaper. Headline: "WEALTHIEST PEOPLE ON EARTH BAND TOGETHER TO SAVE DOGGIE"
Panel 3: Another newspaper. Headline: "U.S. NATIONAL DEBT PAID IN FULL" (with a stock-chart-style graph trending upward).
Panel 4: The same bald, bearded man sits at a table while two people (a woman and an orange-haired person) face him.
Woman: "WHY NOT JUST CUT THE BUDGET A LITTLE?"
Man: "I WANTED A REALISTIC SOLUTION."
Votey: A grinning face (the schemer) in close-up, eyes narrowed.
"GOOD... JUST AS PLANNED..."
Alt text
A four-panel comic. Panel 1: a bald, bearded man in a suit stands at a flag-draped podium beside a cute white puppy and announces, "My fellow Americans, this is Mister Barky, the cutest puppy ever. He's going to one of those scary jails you see in movies to await trial for a crime he didn't commit. Bail is set at 100 trillion dollars." Panel 2: a newspaper headline reads "Wealthiest people on Earth band together to save Doggie." Panel 3: another newspaper headline reads "U.S. national debt paid in full," beside a rising graph. Panel 4: the man, now seated, is asked, "Why not just cut the budget a little?" He replies, "I wanted a realistic solution." The joke: holding an adorable puppy for ransom is portrayed as a more plausible way to pay off the national debt than actual budget cuts. Votey aftercomic: a close-up of a grinning, narrow-eyed schemer saying, "Good... just as planned..."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.