2010-07-31
Original: 2010-07-31 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (red caption banner): IN EVOLUTION SIMULATIONS, EVEN SIMPLE MACHINES DEVELOP LYING AND CHEATING.
[Two small tracked robots face each other on a yellow surface. One robot speaks.]
Robot: WANNA TRADE BATTERIES? MINE IS WAYYYYYYY TOO CHARGED FOR ME.
Panel 2 (red caption banner): IT SEEMS TO BE A GIVEN IN EVOLUTION, WHICH MEANS IT'S A RULE FOR ANY SELF-REPLICATING SYSTEM ANYWHERE IN REALITY.
[A view down a road/path between two green organic walls; a speech bubble emerges.]
Voice (offscreen): BABY! SHE/HE MEANS NOTHING TO ME! THAT GENETIC MATERIAL LEAKED OUT OF A CUT IN MY CYTOPLASM!
Panel 3 (red caption banner): WHICH MEANS THERE IS A UNIVERSAL LAW AS FUNDAMENTAL AS THE CHARGE OF A QUARK OR CONSERVATION OF ENERGY...
[A tall gravestone/monolith stands amid clouds against a blue sky, birds in the distance. Carved into the stone:]
Stone inscription: WHERE THERE IS LIFE, THERE ARE DICKHEADS
Votey:
[A hand-drawn sketch on a piece of paper showing an equation-like scrawl: the letter "L" followed by a proportionality symbol followed by a small round face with a flat, unimpressed/annoyed expression.]
L ∝ [annoyed round face]
[Two small tracked robots face each other on a yellow surface. One robot speaks.]
Robot: WANNA TRADE BATTERIES? MINE IS WAYYYYYYY TOO CHARGED FOR ME.
Panel 2 (red caption banner): IT SEEMS TO BE A GIVEN IN EVOLUTION, WHICH MEANS IT'S A RULE FOR ANY SELF-REPLICATING SYSTEM ANYWHERE IN REALITY.
[A view down a road/path between two green organic walls; a speech bubble emerges.]
Voice (offscreen): BABY! SHE/HE MEANS NOTHING TO ME! THAT GENETIC MATERIAL LEAKED OUT OF A CUT IN MY CYTOPLASM!
Panel 3 (red caption banner): WHICH MEANS THERE IS A UNIVERSAL LAW AS FUNDAMENTAL AS THE CHARGE OF A QUARK OR CONSERVATION OF ENERGY...
[A tall gravestone/monolith stands amid clouds against a blue sky, birds in the distance. Carved into the stone:]
Stone inscription: WHERE THERE IS LIFE, THERE ARE DICKHEADS
Votey:
[A hand-drawn sketch on a piece of paper showing an equation-like scrawl: the letter "L" followed by a proportionality symbol followed by a small round face with a flat, unimpressed/annoyed expression.]
L ∝ [annoyed round face]
Alt text
A three-panel SMBC comic with red caption banners above each panel. Panel 1 caption: "In evolution simulations, even simple machines develop lying and cheating." Two small tracked robots face each other; one says, "Wanna trade batteries? Mine is wayyyyyyy too charged for me." Panel 2 caption: "It seems to be a given in evolution, which means it's a rule for any self-replicating system anywhere in reality." A speech bubble over a path between organic green walls reads, "Baby! She/he means nothing to me! That genetic material leaked out of a cut in my cytoplasm!" Panel 3 caption: "Which means there is a universal law as fundamental as the charge of a quark or conservation of energy..." A tall gravestone-like stone rises out of clouds against a blue sky, carved with the words "Where there is life, there are dickheads." Votey aftercomic: a crude hand-drawn equation on paper showing the letter L, a proportional-to symbol, and a small flat-faced annoyed cartoon head—reading as "Life is proportional to jerks."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.