2010-08-11
Original: 2010-08-11 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A man (brown shirt) standing in clouds, raising his hand toward a long-haired, bearded figure in a white robe with a purple sash (Jesus).
Man: HEY JESUS! HOW COME YOU NEVER ANSWERED MY PRAYERS FOR WORLD PEACE?!
Panel 2:
Jesus, eyes closed.
Jesus: *sigh* MAYBE YOU'D UNDERSTAND BETTER IF YOU SAW ME PRAY.
Panel 3:
The man.
Man: YOU PRAY TOO?
Panel 4:
Jesus.
Jesus: OF COURSE I DO.
Panel 5:
Jesus presses his hands together and bows his head, eyes closed, beginning to pray. The man watches in the background.
Jesus: DEAR INSANE SPACE MONKEY WHO RULES REALITY... PLEASE GRANT MANKIND WORLD PEA—
Panel 6:
Against a starry void, a wild-eyed, screaming reddish-brown monkey/ape creature lunges forward, mouth gaping.
Monkey: KWEEEGOOO! KWEEGOOOO! BLAAGH!
Panel 7:
Back in the clouds, Jesus and the man stand side by side, both looking deflated.
Jesus: *sigh*
Votey:
A hand-drawn sketch on paper showing the same screaming monkey face. Below it is written: MNRI
A man (brown shirt) standing in clouds, raising his hand toward a long-haired, bearded figure in a white robe with a purple sash (Jesus).
Man: HEY JESUS! HOW COME YOU NEVER ANSWERED MY PRAYERS FOR WORLD PEACE?!
Panel 2:
Jesus, eyes closed.
Jesus: *sigh* MAYBE YOU'D UNDERSTAND BETTER IF YOU SAW ME PRAY.
Panel 3:
The man.
Man: YOU PRAY TOO?
Panel 4:
Jesus.
Jesus: OF COURSE I DO.
Panel 5:
Jesus presses his hands together and bows his head, eyes closed, beginning to pray. The man watches in the background.
Jesus: DEAR INSANE SPACE MONKEY WHO RULES REALITY... PLEASE GRANT MANKIND WORLD PEA—
Panel 6:
Against a starry void, a wild-eyed, screaming reddish-brown monkey/ape creature lunges forward, mouth gaping.
Monkey: KWEEEGOOO! KWEEGOOOO! BLAAGH!
Panel 7:
Back in the clouds, Jesus and the man stand side by side, both looking deflated.
Jesus: *sigh*
Votey:
A hand-drawn sketch on paper showing the same screaming monkey face. Below it is written: MNRI
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A man standing in heaven's clouds asks a long-haired, bearded figure in a white robe and purple sash (Jesus): "Hey Jesus! How come you never answered my prayers for world peace?!" Jesus sighs and says, "Maybe you'd understand better if you saw me pray." The man asks, "You pray too?" Jesus replies, "Of course I do." Jesus then presses his palms together, bows his head, and begins: "Dear insane space monkey who rules reality... please grant mankind world pea—" The next panel cuts to a terrifying, wild-eyed reddish-brown monkey screaming in a starry void: "KWEEEGOOO! KWEEGOOOO! BLAAGH!" In the final panel, Jesus and the man stand together looking defeated as Jesus sighs. The joke: even Jesus prays to a higher power, but that higher power is a deranged, gibbering space monkey — explaining why prayers go unanswered. Votey (bonus panel): a crude hand-drawn sketch of the same screaming monkey face on a sheet of paper, labeled "MNRI."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.