2010-06-15
Original: 2010-06-15 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Ares (a warrior in a crested helmet): ZEEEUUUUS!
Zeus (an old man with a long gray beard): What is it, Ares?
Panel 2:
Ares: Athena cheated! We had a contest to see who could handpick the greatest army in history. I spent years, but she spent five minutes! I had Vikings, Cossacks, ninjas, Askari...
Panel 3:
Zeus: How'd they do?
Ares: Bloodbath! All dead in seconds.
Zeus: How?
Panel 4 (banner reads "EARLIER..."):
Athena (standing among a crowd of ordinary-looking people): My army is made entirely of UNPROMOTABLE RETAIL WORKERS!
Panel 5:
Athena (shouting in Ares's face against a red background): They fear no death!
Votey:
A balding man with a cigar (black-and-white): May I interest you in some discount ass-kicking?!
Ares (a warrior in a crested helmet): ZEEEUUUUS!
Zeus (an old man with a long gray beard): What is it, Ares?
Panel 2:
Ares: Athena cheated! We had a contest to see who could handpick the greatest army in history. I spent years, but she spent five minutes! I had Vikings, Cossacks, ninjas, Askari...
Panel 3:
Zeus: How'd they do?
Ares: Bloodbath! All dead in seconds.
Zeus: How?
Panel 4 (banner reads "EARLIER..."):
Athena (standing among a crowd of ordinary-looking people): My army is made entirely of UNPROMOTABLE RETAIL WORKERS!
Panel 5:
Athena (shouting in Ares's face against a red background): They fear no death!
Votey:
A balding man with a cigar (black-and-white): May I interest you in some discount ass-kicking?!
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic about the Greek gods. Panel 1: Ares, a muscular warrior in a crested helmet, shouts "ZEEEUUUUS!" An old bearded man in a robe replies, "What is it, Ares?" Panel 2: A frustrated Ares says, "Athena cheated! We had a contest to see who could handpick the greatest army in history. I spent years, but she spent five minutes! I had Vikings, Cossacks, ninjas, Askari..." Panel 3: Zeus asks, "How'd they do?" Ares answers, "Bloodbath! All dead in seconds." Zeus: "How?" Panel 4: A banner says "EARLIER..." Athena stands amid a crowd of glum, ordinary-looking people and declares, "My army is made entirely of UNPROMOTABLE RETAIL WORKERS!" Panel 5: Athena leans into Ares's face against a blood-red background, yelling, "They fear no death!" Votey (a black-and-white panel): A balding man with a cigar in his mouth grimaces and offers, "May I interest you in some discount ass-kicking?!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.