2010-06-21
Original: 2010-06-21 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption banner): ~ 2,000,000 A.D.
Three pale, white-haired future scientists with flame-like or wispy hair and goggles/glasses stand around a stone table. On the table is an object labeled: TIME CAPSULE. One scientist's hand reaches toward a red button.
Panel 2 (close-up of the time capsule lid):
TIME
DO NOT OPEN UNTIL HUMAN BEHAVIOR CAN BE PREDICTED PERFECTLY AS ARISING PURELY FROM PHYSICAL PHENOMENA
(The word CAP[SULE] is partially visible below.)
A hand presses the red button.
Panel 3:
The capsule springs open and a boxing-glove-on-a-spring shoots out, punching one of the scientists in the face. A starburst reads: PIE!
Panel 4 (inside / interior of the capsule lid, a note):
'Didn't see that coming, did you, bitches?! Sincerely, the 21st century'
Panel 5 (caption banner): ~ 2,000 A.D.
A woman in a lab coat stands at a chalkboard covered in equations. A bald, bearded man in a lab coat sits at a desk with a spring-loaded boxing-glove device on a sheet of paper in front of him.
Woman: HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THE FEAR THAT THE RISE OF TECHNOLOGY MAY MEAN THE END OF HUMANITY AS WE KNOW IT?
Bearded man: OH... THIS AND THAT.
Votey:
A simple line-drawn building with a sign reading: HOSTESS
Speech bubble (customer, off-panel left): I NEED A PIE THAT WILL LAST 2,000,000 YEARS.
Speech bubble (from the building / Hostess): YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.
Three pale, white-haired future scientists with flame-like or wispy hair and goggles/glasses stand around a stone table. On the table is an object labeled: TIME CAPSULE. One scientist's hand reaches toward a red button.
Panel 2 (close-up of the time capsule lid):
TIME
DO NOT OPEN UNTIL HUMAN BEHAVIOR CAN BE PREDICTED PERFECTLY AS ARISING PURELY FROM PHYSICAL PHENOMENA
(The word CAP[SULE] is partially visible below.)
A hand presses the red button.
Panel 3:
The capsule springs open and a boxing-glove-on-a-spring shoots out, punching one of the scientists in the face. A starburst reads: PIE!
Panel 4 (inside / interior of the capsule lid, a note):
'Didn't see that coming, did you, bitches?! Sincerely, the 21st century'
Panel 5 (caption banner): ~ 2,000 A.D.
A woman in a lab coat stands at a chalkboard covered in equations. A bald, bearded man in a lab coat sits at a desk with a spring-loaded boxing-glove device on a sheet of paper in front of him.
Woman: HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THE FEAR THAT THE RISE OF TECHNOLOGY MAY MEAN THE END OF HUMANITY AS WE KNOW IT?
Bearded man: OH... THIS AND THAT.
Votey:
A simple line-drawn building with a sign reading: HOSTESS
Speech bubble (customer, off-panel left): I NEED A PIE THAT WILL LAST 2,000,000 YEARS.
Speech bubble (from the building / Hostess): YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.
Alt text
A multi-panel comic. Top banner: '~ 2,000,000 A.D.' Three pale future scientists with wispy hair stand around a stone object labeled 'TIME CAPSULE,' one reaching for a red button. A close-up of the lid reads: 'TIME CAPSULE — DO NOT OPEN UNTIL HUMAN BEHAVIOR CAN BE PREDICTED PERFECTLY AS ARISING PURELY FROM PHYSICAL PHENOMENA.' A hand presses the button. The capsule pops open and a spring-loaded boxing glove punches a scientist in the face with a 'PIE!' starburst. A note inside reads: 'Didn't see that coming, did you, bitches?! Sincerely, the 21st century.' Final panel, banner '~ 2,000 A.D.': a woman at a chalkboard full of equations asks a bald bearded scientist, who has the spring-loaded boxing-glove device on his desk, 'HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THE FEAR THAT THE RISE OF TECHNOLOGY MAY MEAN THE END OF HUMANITY AS WE KNOW IT?' He replies, 'OH... THIS AND THAT.' The joke: the 21st-century scientists, knowing future people will assume determinism solved free will, booby-trap the time capsule to prove behavior is still unpredictable. Votey: a building labeled 'HOSTESS'; an off-panel customer says 'I NEED A PIE THAT WILL LAST 2,000,000 YEARS,' and the shop answers 'YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE' — a jab at the indestructible longevity of Hostess snack pies.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.