2010-04-17
Original: 2010-04-17 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title text (top): WHAT IF WE COULD TRAVEL BACK IN TIME TO GIVE ANCIENT PEOPLE MODERN SCIENCE?
Panel 1 (banner label: GENETICS...):
On the wall behind a robed bearded man are written the sex chromosomes: XX XY.
Bearded man: AND THEN GOD, FINDING THE XX SEX CHROMOSOMES TO BE IMPERFECT, CLOVE A LEG OUT OF ONE OF THEM.
Panel 2 (banner label: COMPUTING...):
A red-haired, red-bearded man sits at a computer monitor.
Red-bearded man: MY OS FREEZES AGAIN!
An older bearded man (the teacher figure): YOU MUST SACRIFICE THE SPLEEN OF A HE-LAMB TO NINKASI!
Red-bearded man: WHAT IF THAT FAILS?
Older man: JIGGLE THE CABLES.
Panel 3 (banner label: RELATIVITY...):
The older bearded man speaks to a figure on the right; a small monkey/lizard creature (yellow-headed with a green tail) is held in the foreground.
Older man: SO, AT RELATIVISTIC VELOCITY, SIMULTANEITY BREAKS DOWN.
Figure on right: WHY?
Older man: BECAUSE MONKEY-LIZARD IS DISPLEASED!
Votey:
Banner label: SEXOLOGY...
A person with curly hair leans over an open book, laughing.
Person: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
The open book page reads: FEMALE ORGASM
Panel 1 (banner label: GENETICS...):
On the wall behind a robed bearded man are written the sex chromosomes: XX XY.
Bearded man: AND THEN GOD, FINDING THE XX SEX CHROMOSOMES TO BE IMPERFECT, CLOVE A LEG OUT OF ONE OF THEM.
Panel 2 (banner label: COMPUTING...):
A red-haired, red-bearded man sits at a computer monitor.
Red-bearded man: MY OS FREEZES AGAIN!
An older bearded man (the teacher figure): YOU MUST SACRIFICE THE SPLEEN OF A HE-LAMB TO NINKASI!
Red-bearded man: WHAT IF THAT FAILS?
Older man: JIGGLE THE CABLES.
Panel 3 (banner label: RELATIVITY...):
The older bearded man speaks to a figure on the right; a small monkey/lizard creature (yellow-headed with a green tail) is held in the foreground.
Older man: SO, AT RELATIVISTIC VELOCITY, SIMULTANEITY BREAKS DOWN.
Figure on right: WHY?
Older man: BECAUSE MONKEY-LIZARD IS DISPLEASED!
Votey:
Banner label: SEXOLOGY...
A person with curly hair leans over an open book, laughing.
Person: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
The open book page reads: FEMALE ORGASM
Alt text
A three-panel SMBC comic titled "What if we could travel back in time to give ancient people modern science?" The joke is that the time-traveler keeps framing modern science in ancient mythic/superstitious terms. Panel 1 (GENETICS): a robed bearded man stands before the chromosomes XX and XY chalked on the wall and explains, "And then God, finding the XX sex chromosomes to be imperfect, clove a leg out of one of them" (turning XX into XY, a riff on Adam's rib). Panel 2 (COMPUTING): a red-bearded man at a computer complains "My OS freezes again!"; the teacher answers, "You must sacrifice the spleen of a he-lamb to Ninkasi!" and when asked what if that fails, says "Jiggle the cables." Panel 3 (RELATIVITY): the teacher explains "So, at relativistic velocity, simultaneity breaks down," and when asked "Why?" replies "Because monkey-lizard is displeased!" while a little yellow-and-green monkey-lizard idol is held up. Votey (SEXOLOGY): a curly-haired person leans over an open book and laughs uproariously, "BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The book's page is titled "FEMALE ORGASM" — the joke being that even modern science treated it as a mystery worth mocking.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.