2009-12-24
Original: 2009-12-24 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
The comic shows six handwritten survey/checkbox forms, one per panel, each headed with a label indicating a stage in a relationship. Each form poses the question "Do you like me?" with a growing list of checkbox answer options.
Panel 1 (header: 0 YEARS DATING:)
Do you like me?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
Panel 2 (header: 1 YEAR DATING)
Do you like me?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] No, but I pity you, which is similar.
Panel 3 (header: 2 YEARS DATING)
Do you like me?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] No, but I pity you, which is similar.
[ ] Yes. Buy me shit.
Panel 4 (header: 3 YEARS DATING)
Do you like me?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] No, but I pity you, which is similar.
[ ] Yes. Buy me shit.
[ ] Yes, but in an entirely unsatisfactory way, which I'll insist you should be pleased with.
Panel 5 (header: 5 YEARS DATING)
Do you like me?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] No, but I pity you, which is similar.
[ ] Yes. Buy me shit.
[ ] Yes, but in an entirely unsatisfactory way, which I'll insist you should be pleased with.
[ ] Only in the way I like my reliable but emotionally uninteresting Volvo.
Panel 6 (header: 10 YEARS DATING)
"Do you like me?" is crossed out, replaced with:
Are you terrified of dying alone and unloved too?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
Votey:
(header: 1 YEAR MARRIAGE)
Do you like me?
[x] Yes
[x] No
(Both boxes are checked.)
Panel 1 (header: 0 YEARS DATING:)
Do you like me?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
Panel 2 (header: 1 YEAR DATING)
Do you like me?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] No, but I pity you, which is similar.
Panel 3 (header: 2 YEARS DATING)
Do you like me?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] No, but I pity you, which is similar.
[ ] Yes. Buy me shit.
Panel 4 (header: 3 YEARS DATING)
Do you like me?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] No, but I pity you, which is similar.
[ ] Yes. Buy me shit.
[ ] Yes, but in an entirely unsatisfactory way, which I'll insist you should be pleased with.
Panel 5 (header: 5 YEARS DATING)
Do you like me?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] No, but I pity you, which is similar.
[ ] Yes. Buy me shit.
[ ] Yes, but in an entirely unsatisfactory way, which I'll insist you should be pleased with.
[ ] Only in the way I like my reliable but emotionally uninteresting Volvo.
Panel 6 (header: 10 YEARS DATING)
"Do you like me?" is crossed out, replaced with:
Are you terrified of dying alone and unloved too?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
Votey:
(header: 1 YEAR MARRIAGE)
Do you like me?
[x] Yes
[x] No
(Both boxes are checked.)
Alt text
A six-panel comic, each panel a handwritten checkbox survey form headed with a relationship milestone. Every form asks "Do you like me?" and the list of answer options grows longer and more bitter over time. At 0 years dating: just "Yes" and "No." At 1 year, a third option appears: "No, but I pity you, which is similar." At 2 years it adds "Yes. Buy me shit." At 3 years: "Yes, but in an entirely unsatisfactory way, which I'll insist you should be pleased with." At 5 years: "Only in the way I like my reliable but emotionally uninteresting Volvo." By 10 years dating, the original question "Do you like me?" is crossed out and replaced with "Are you terrified of dying alone and unloved too?" with only Yes and No options. The joke tracks the slow corrosion of romance into grim co-dependency. In the votey aftercomic, a form headed "1 Year Marriage" asks "Do you like me?" with both the Yes and No boxes checked at once.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.