2009-09-27
Original: 2009-09-27 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Main comic:
A hand-drawn line graph.
Y-axis label: ACCEPTABLE VARIETIES OF MASTURBATION
X-axis label: TIME SPENT SINGLE
Two curves rise from the origin:
- A dark red curve climbs gradually and steadily, in a roughly diagonal, slightly bumpy line.
- A blue curve shoots almost straight up immediately and then stays flat near the top.
Legend:
Dark red box: WHAT YOU'D THINK IS TRUE
Blue box: REALITY
Votey:
A shirtless smiling man with curly hair leans over an open book resting on a surface. The cover/spine of the book reads: NUMERICAL ANALYSI (text cut off).
A hand-drawn line graph.
Y-axis label: ACCEPTABLE VARIETIES OF MASTURBATION
X-axis label: TIME SPENT SINGLE
Two curves rise from the origin:
- A dark red curve climbs gradually and steadily, in a roughly diagonal, slightly bumpy line.
- A blue curve shoots almost straight up immediately and then stays flat near the top.
Legend:
Dark red box: WHAT YOU'D THINK IS TRUE
Blue box: REALITY
Votey:
A shirtless smiling man with curly hair leans over an open book resting on a surface. The cover/spine of the book reads: NUMERICAL ANALYSI (text cut off).
Alt text
A hand-drawn line graph titled by its axes: the vertical axis reads "ACCEPTABLE VARIETIES OF MASTURBATION" and the horizontal axis reads "TIME SPENT SINGLE." Two curves rise from the origin. A dark red line, labeled "WHAT YOU'D THINK IS TRUE," climbs slowly and gradually. A blue line, labeled "REALITY," spikes almost vertically right away and then stays flat near the maximum — the joke being that the range of acceptable masturbation expands almost instantly, not gradually, once you're single. Votey: a shirtless, smiling, curly-haired man leans eagerly over an open book whose cover reads "NUMERICAL ANALYSI" (the title cut off), implying the acceptable "varieties" now include getting aroused by a math textbook.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.