2009-08-15
Original: 2009-08-15 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
First man (brown-haired): The quantum computer can predict any hypothetical future.
Second man (red-haired, glasses): What would the world be like if all countries were run by women?
Panel 2:
(A hand holding a printout near the computer screen; no dialogue.)
Panel 3:
Computer printout text: World peace. But every time you go in the shower, there's, like, ten freakin' kinds of soap.
Panel 4:
Caption banner: 3 years later...
(Setting: a ruined, apocalyptic cityscape with toppled buildings and a red sky.)
Brown-haired man: So, you could've prevented all of-
Red-haired man: Where am I supposed to put my razor?! HUH?
Votey:
Long-haired person: 4 billion people are dead!
Man with glasses: Shampoo and body wash! Same thing!
First man (brown-haired): The quantum computer can predict any hypothetical future.
Second man (red-haired, glasses): What would the world be like if all countries were run by women?
Panel 2:
(A hand holding a printout near the computer screen; no dialogue.)
Panel 3:
Computer printout text: World peace. But every time you go in the shower, there's, like, ten freakin' kinds of soap.
Panel 4:
Caption banner: 3 years later...
(Setting: a ruined, apocalyptic cityscape with toppled buildings and a red sky.)
Brown-haired man: So, you could've prevented all of-
Red-haired man: Where am I supposed to put my razor?! HUH?
Votey:
Long-haired person: 4 billion people are dead!
Man with glasses: Shampoo and body wash! Same thing!
Alt text
A four-panel comic. Panel 1: Two scientists in lab coats face a computer; the brown-haired one says "The quantum computer can predict any hypothetical future," and the red-haired one asks, "What would the world be like if all countries were run by women?" Panel 2: A hand holds a printout near the glowing screen. Panel 3: The printout reads, "World peace. But every time you go in the shower, there's, like, ten freakin' kinds of soap." Panel 4, labeled "3 years later...", shows the two men standing amid a ruined, burning city under a red sky; the brown-haired man begins, "So, you could've prevented all of-" and the red-haired man interrupts, furious, "Where am I supposed to put my razor?! HUH?" Votey: A close-up of a long-haired person shouting "4 billion people are dead!" at the man with glasses, who shouts back, "Shampoo and body wash! Same thing!" The joke: a man would rather trigger an apocalypse than tolerate having many kinds of soap in the shower.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.