2009-07-30
Original: 2009-07-30 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title caption (orange banner): DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS PLAYERS SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED IN MEDICINE
Panel 1:
A doctor in green scrubs with a head mirror and glasses stands holding what appears to be a speculum, one hand thoughtfully at his chin. A patient's draped legs are visible to the right, in stirrups.
Doctor: I HEARTELL YOU HAVE NEED OF MY... VAGINOMANCY!
Votey:
A black-and-white panel. A doctor stands holding a clipboard, speaking to someone (only the back of a head is visible in the foreground).
Doctor: I'M AFRAID YOUR SON... FAILED HIS CONSTITUTION ROLL...
Panel 1:
A doctor in green scrubs with a head mirror and glasses stands holding what appears to be a speculum, one hand thoughtfully at his chin. A patient's draped legs are visible to the right, in stirrups.
Doctor: I HEARTELL YOU HAVE NEED OF MY... VAGINOMANCY!
Votey:
A black-and-white panel. A doctor stands holding a clipboard, speaking to someone (only the back of a head is visible in the foreground).
Doctor: I'M AFRAID YOUR SON... FAILED HIS CONSTITUTION ROLL...
Alt text
A two-part SMBC comic. Main panel (color): an orange title banner reads "DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS PLAYERS SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED IN MEDICINE." Below, a doctor in green scrubs wearing a head mirror and glasses stands in an exam room, holding a speculum and stroking his chin while a patient's draped legs rest in stirrups to the side. He declares in mock-wizard fashion, "I heartell you have need of my... vaginomancy!" Votey (black-and-white): a doctor holding a clipboard delivers grave news to a person whose head we see from behind, saying, "I'm afraid your son... failed his constitution roll..." The joke: a doctor who plays Dungeons & Dragons frames medical procedures and bad outcomes in fantasy-RPG terms.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.