2008-10-21
Original: 2008-10-21 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A sperm cell racing toward a large egg, with other sperm trailing behind.
Leading sperm: "I DID IT! I GOT HERE FIRST! I GET TO LIVE! TO LIVE!"
Panel 2:
Caption: "30 YEARS LATER..."
A scene in an office. A man stands talking to another person (shown at the edge of the panel).
Man: "THE EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK SAYS THERE'S NO NEED TO WEAR A TIE ON FRIDAY."
Man: "SURE, BUT-"
Other person: "DID YOU EVEN READ THE EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK?"
Votey:
Close-up of the man, looking dejected, thinking.
Man (thought bubble): "IF ONLY I'D BEEN A WEBCARTOONIST..."
A sperm cell racing toward a large egg, with other sperm trailing behind.
Leading sperm: "I DID IT! I GOT HERE FIRST! I GET TO LIVE! TO LIVE!"
Panel 2:
Caption: "30 YEARS LATER..."
A scene in an office. A man stands talking to another person (shown at the edge of the panel).
Man: "THE EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK SAYS THERE'S NO NEED TO WEAR A TIE ON FRIDAY."
Man: "SURE, BUT-"
Other person: "DID YOU EVEN READ THE EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK?"
Votey:
Close-up of the man, looking dejected, thinking.
Man (thought bubble): "IF ONLY I'D BEEN A WEBCARTOONIST..."
Alt text
A two-panel comic. Panel 1: A triumphant sperm cell races toward a large egg, ahead of other sperm, shouting "I did it! I got here first! I get to live! To live!" Panel 2, captioned "30 years later...": That same person, now a grown man in an office, is stuck in a tedious workplace argument about the dress-code policy. He says the employee handbook permits skipping a tie on Friday; he starts to object "Sure, but-" and a coworker cuts him off with "Did you even read the employee handbook?" The joke contrasts the grand victory of being born with the mundane, soul-crushing reality of corporate life. Votey: A close-up of the same dejected man thinking in a thought bubble, "If only I'd been a webcartoonist..."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.