2008-09-24
Original: 2008-09-24 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title banner: KNOW YOUR PROOFS OF GOD
Panel 1 (label: ONTOLOGICAL): A man stands at a whiteboard holding a marker. He has drawn a simple stick figure, and above it in a thought/imagination bubble is a more detailed, idealized drawing of a figure. (The joke: conceiving of a most-perfect being.)
Panel 2 (label: TELEOLOGICAL): A woman with reddish hair gestures toward a black field filled with white arrows arranged in an inward-spiraling, ordered pattern. (The joke: order/design in the universe pointing toward a designer.)
Panel 3 (label: PHYSIOLOGICAL): An angry nun, holding a wooden ruler, swings a large book labeled "BERTRAND RUSSELL" and strikes a curly-haired boy in a blue shirt across the face. The boy recoils in pain.
Votey:
Label: ILLOGICAL
Text: "GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS FOR THINGS THAT PROBABLY WOULD'VE HAPPENED ANYWAY."
A bald man in a dark clerical collar looks on.
Panel 1 (label: ONTOLOGICAL): A man stands at a whiteboard holding a marker. He has drawn a simple stick figure, and above it in a thought/imagination bubble is a more detailed, idealized drawing of a figure. (The joke: conceiving of a most-perfect being.)
Panel 2 (label: TELEOLOGICAL): A woman with reddish hair gestures toward a black field filled with white arrows arranged in an inward-spiraling, ordered pattern. (The joke: order/design in the universe pointing toward a designer.)
Panel 3 (label: PHYSIOLOGICAL): An angry nun, holding a wooden ruler, swings a large book labeled "BERTRAND RUSSELL" and strikes a curly-haired boy in a blue shirt across the face. The boy recoils in pain.
Votey:
Label: ILLOGICAL
Text: "GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS FOR THINGS THAT PROBABLY WOULD'VE HAPPENED ANYWAY."
A bald man in a dark clerical collar looks on.
Alt text
A four-panel comic titled "Know Your Proofs of God," parodying classic arguments for God's existence. Panel 1, labeled ONTOLOGICAL: a man at a whiteboard has drawn a crude stick figure with a thought bubble above showing a more perfect, idealized figure. Panel 2, labeled TELEOLOGICAL: a red-haired woman gestures at a black field of white arrows swirling into an ordered inward spiral, suggesting cosmic design. Panel 3, labeled PHYSIOLOGICAL: an angry nun wielding a ruler smacks a curly-haired boy in the face with a heavy book labeled "BERTRAND RUSSELL" (the atheist philosopher) — the "physiological" proof being beaten into him. The aftercomic (votey) adds a fourth label, ILLOGICAL, with text reading "God answers prayers for things that probably would've happened anyway," as a bald priest in a clerical collar looks on.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.