2008-05-15
Original: 2008-05-15 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: God (a blonde figure in a purple robe) speaks to an angel (depicted as a yellow triangular shape, presumably representing the divine/heavenly realm).
God: "God, we've been getting some complaints about human misbehavior."
Angel: "Misbehavior? But I designed each human's flowchart perfectly!"
Panel 2: Caption box: "That evening..."
The yellow figure sits on a couch.
Yellow figure: "Uh-oh."
Panel 3: A flowchart is shown.
Decision box: "MISS YOUR MOM?"
Arrow labeled "YES" leads to:
Action box: "DIG UP OLD WOMEN'S BODIES AND WEAR THEM."
Votey:
Continuation of the flowchart, drawn in a sketchy hand-drawn style.
From the "MISS YOUR MOM?" decision, the "NO" branch leads to:
Box: "VIOLATES COMMANDMENT FIVE"
Which leads to:
Box: "HELL"
God: "God, we've been getting some complaints about human misbehavior."
Angel: "Misbehavior? But I designed each human's flowchart perfectly!"
Panel 2: Caption box: "That evening..."
The yellow figure sits on a couch.
Yellow figure: "Uh-oh."
Panel 3: A flowchart is shown.
Decision box: "MISS YOUR MOM?"
Arrow labeled "YES" leads to:
Action box: "DIG UP OLD WOMEN'S BODIES AND WEAR THEM."
Votey:
Continuation of the flowchart, drawn in a sketchy hand-drawn style.
From the "MISS YOUR MOM?" decision, the "NO" branch leads to:
Box: "VIOLATES COMMANDMENT FIVE"
Which leads to:
Box: "HELL"
Alt text
A three-panel SMBC comic about God reviewing a poorly designed human behavior flowchart. Panel 1: A blonde figure in a purple robe (God) tells a yellow triangle-shaped being, "God, we've been getting some complaints about human misbehavior." The yellow being replies, "Misbehavior? But I designed each human's flowchart perfectly!" Panel 2: Labeled "That evening...", the yellow being slumps on a couch and says "Uh-oh," realizing its mistake. Panel 3: The flawed flowchart is revealed: a box reading "MISS YOUR MOM?" with a "YES" arrow pointing to "DIG UP OLD WOMEN'S BODIES AND WEAR THEM" — the joke being that the designer made grave-robbing the logical output of grief. Votey (bonus panel): The flowchart continues in a sketchy hand-drawn style — the "NO" branch from "MISS YOUR MOM?" leads to "VIOLATES COMMANDMENT FIVE" and then to "HELL," meaning the only alternative to grave-robbing is damnation.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.