2007-10-21
Original: 2007-10-21 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Narration: SINCE THE INVENTION OF EMOTIONAL QUANTIFICATION THERE HAVE BEEN AWARDS FOR THOSE WHO CAN GENERATE THE PUREST FEELINGS.
(A man wearing a metal sensor headset sits on a couch; a readout above reads "99.47% ENNUI". A tuxedoed man gestures toward him admiringly.)
Panel 2:
Narration: I'VE BEEN WORKING TO BECOME A PROFESSIONAL. MONTHS READING ALONE. I HAVEN'T SPOKEN IN SO LONG, IT HURTS TO TALK.
(A red-haired man sits reading a book amid stacks of books.)
Panel 3:
(A golden trophy stands on a pedestal. The plaque reads:)
Plaque: LONELIEST MAN ON EARTH
Panel 4:
Narration: NOBODY CALLED TO CONGRATULATE ME.
(The red-haired man sits alone at a table with a telephone, looking down.)
Votey:
(Nearly all black. The red-haired man's small figure at the bottom with a speech bubble.)
Man: Hooray
Narration: SINCE THE INVENTION OF EMOTIONAL QUANTIFICATION THERE HAVE BEEN AWARDS FOR THOSE WHO CAN GENERATE THE PUREST FEELINGS.
(A man wearing a metal sensor headset sits on a couch; a readout above reads "99.47% ENNUI". A tuxedoed man gestures toward him admiringly.)
Panel 2:
Narration: I'VE BEEN WORKING TO BECOME A PROFESSIONAL. MONTHS READING ALONE. I HAVEN'T SPOKEN IN SO LONG, IT HURTS TO TALK.
(A red-haired man sits reading a book amid stacks of books.)
Panel 3:
(A golden trophy stands on a pedestal. The plaque reads:)
Plaque: LONELIEST MAN ON EARTH
Panel 4:
Narration: NOBODY CALLED TO CONGRATULATE ME.
(The red-haired man sits alone at a table with a telephone, looking down.)
Votey:
(Nearly all black. The red-haired man's small figure at the bottom with a speech bubble.)
Man: Hooray
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1 narration: since the invention of emotional quantification there have been awards for those who can generate the purest feelings; a man wears a sensor headset on a couch with a readout reading "99.47% ENNUI" while a man in a tuxedo gestures toward him. Panel 2 narration: a red-haired man reads alone among stacks of books, saying he's worked for months reading alone to become a professional, hasn't spoken so long it hurts to talk. Panel 3: a golden trophy on a pedestal with a plaque reading "LONELIEST MAN ON EARTH." Panel 4: the red-haired man sits alone at a table with a telephone, narration: nobody called to congratulate me. Votey (aftercomic): an almost entirely black panel; the small red-haired man at the bottom flatly says "Hooray" in a speech bubble.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.