ohyesrobot.ordoliberal.com

2007-10-24

Original: 2007-10-24 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Transcript

Title banner: MARKETING STRATEGY: IMPLICATE THE COMPETITION WITH UNIQUE GUARANTEES

A grocery store shelf holds three jars of purple jelly, each with a label sticker. A person's face is at the right edge, looking at the jars. A shelf label below reads: JELLIES

Jar 1 label: 0% FAT!
Jar 2 label: 0% CHOLESTEROL!
Jar 3 label: 0% SKIN FROM A DEAD HOBO'S MOUTH!

Votey:
A jar label reads: CONTAINS NO ASSBLOOD!

Alt text

An SMBC comic. A yellow banner across the top reads "MARKETING STRATEGY: IMPLICATE THE COMPETITION WITH UNIQUE GUARANTEES." Below, three jars of purple jelly sit on a grocery shelf labeled "JELLIES," with a person's face peering at them from the right. The first jar's label boasts "0% FAT!", the second "0% CHOLESTEROL!", and the third escalates to "0% SKIN FROM A DEAD HOBO'S MOUTH!" The joke: a guarantee that's technically true but implies the competing jars might contain something horrifying. The votey (bonus panel) shows another jar label reading "CONTAINS NO ASSBLOOD!", pushing the gross-out one-upmanship further.

Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.