2007-02-13
Original: 2007-02-13 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (single panel):
The scene shows two bearded men standing on a frozen, snowy lake, facing a robed figure with long hair and a beard (Jesus) who stands on the ice opposite them.
Jesus: OKAY, BUT IF IT WERE UNFROZEN, I COULD STILL WALK ON IT.
First man: WELL, AT LEAST TURN IT INTO WINE.
Jesus: I CAN'T, OKAY? IT HAS TO BE LIQUID WATER.
Second man: SCREW THIS. WE'RE GONNA GO WORSHIP ZOROASTER.
Jesus: WAIT! WATCH! I'LL FLOAT UP TOWARD HEAVEN!
Caption (below the panel): At this point, Jesus realized his sandles were stuck to the ice.
Votey:
A roughly drawn panel. A figure (Jesus) raises a hand, distressed.
Jesus: DAD! NO ONE CAME TO MY SERMON!
A reply emerges from above/off-panel (God): AW... CHEER UP. HERE.
Caption (below the panel): God gives Jesus front row seats for tonight's gladiator fights.
The scene shows two bearded men standing on a frozen, snowy lake, facing a robed figure with long hair and a beard (Jesus) who stands on the ice opposite them.
Jesus: OKAY, BUT IF IT WERE UNFROZEN, I COULD STILL WALK ON IT.
First man: WELL, AT LEAST TURN IT INTO WINE.
Jesus: I CAN'T, OKAY? IT HAS TO BE LIQUID WATER.
Second man: SCREW THIS. WE'RE GONNA GO WORSHIP ZOROASTER.
Jesus: WAIT! WATCH! I'LL FLOAT UP TOWARD HEAVEN!
Caption (below the panel): At this point, Jesus realized his sandles were stuck to the ice.
Votey:
A roughly drawn panel. A figure (Jesus) raises a hand, distressed.
Jesus: DAD! NO ONE CAME TO MY SERMON!
A reply emerges from above/off-panel (God): AW... CHEER UP. HERE.
Caption (below the panel): God gives Jesus front row seats for tonight's gladiator fights.
Alt text
A single-panel comic showing Jesus standing on a frozen, snow-covered lake, facing two skeptical bearded men also standing on the ice. Jesus tries to impress them with miracles but they keep failing because of the cold. Jesus says, "Okay, but if it were unfrozen, I could still walk on it." One man demands, "Well, at least turn it into wine." Jesus replies, "I can't, okay? It has to be liquid water." The other man says, "Screw this. We're gonna go worship Zoroaster." Jesus pleads, "Wait! Watch! I'll float up toward heaven!" A caption below reads: "At this point, Jesus realized his sandals were stuck to the ice." Votey (a crudely drawn aftercomic): A distressed Jesus raises his hand and cries, "Dad! No one came to my sermon!" A voice from above (God) answers, "Aw... cheer up. Here." The caption reads: "God gives Jesus front row seats for tonight's gladiator fights."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.