2006-08-31
Original: 2006-08-31 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (single panel):
A nurse in purple scrubs and a white nurse's cap with a red cross sits cheerfully between two elderly people. To the left, an old man in a blue shirt looks on. To the right, an elderly white-haired woman in a yellow cardigan sits slumped in a wheelchair, head lolling.
Nurse: DISCOUNT MOVIE TICKETS! HAHA! WELL THIS SESSION IS GOING JUST GREAT! HOW ABOUT YOU, PHYLLIS? WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT BEING A SENIOR?
Nurse (smaller speech bubbles, looking toward the slumped woman): PHYLLIS? ... PHYLLIS?
Caption (below panel): Phyllis had died of shock after her false teeth, glass eyes, and severe pain medication fell into her incontinence diapers.
Votey:
A hand-drawn line graph. The vertical axis is labeled "funnyness of old people jokes" and the horizontal axis is labeled "my age." A red arrow slopes steeply downward from the upper left to the lower right, showing that the funniness of old-people jokes decreases as the author's age increases.
A nurse in purple scrubs and a white nurse's cap with a red cross sits cheerfully between two elderly people. To the left, an old man in a blue shirt looks on. To the right, an elderly white-haired woman in a yellow cardigan sits slumped in a wheelchair, head lolling.
Nurse: DISCOUNT MOVIE TICKETS! HAHA! WELL THIS SESSION IS GOING JUST GREAT! HOW ABOUT YOU, PHYLLIS? WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT BEING A SENIOR?
Nurse (smaller speech bubbles, looking toward the slumped woman): PHYLLIS? ... PHYLLIS?
Caption (below panel): Phyllis had died of shock after her false teeth, glass eyes, and severe pain medication fell into her incontinence diapers.
Votey:
A hand-drawn line graph. The vertical axis is labeled "funnyness of old people jokes" and the horizontal axis is labeled "my age." A red arrow slopes steeply downward from the upper left to the lower right, showing that the funniness of old-people jokes decreases as the author's age increases.
Alt text
A single-panel cartoon. A cheerful nurse in purple scrubs and a white cap with a red cross sits between two elderly people in what looks like a care-home activity session. To her left an old man in a blue shirt looks on; to her right an elderly white-haired woman in a yellow cardigan sits slumped and limp in a wheelchair, head fallen to one side. The nurse, oblivious, says: 'Discount movie tickets! Haha! Well this session is going just great! How about you, Phyllis? What's your favorite thing about being a senior?' Then in smaller bubbles aimed at the slumped woman: 'Phyllis? ... Phyllis?' A caption below reads: 'Phyllis had died of shock after her false teeth, glass eyes, and severe pain medication fell into her incontinence diapers.' Votey (bonus panel): a crude hand-drawn line graph with a red arrow plunging steeply downward from upper-left to lower-right. The vertical axis is labeled 'funnyness of old people jokes' and the horizontal axis 'my age' — the joke being that old-people jokes get less funny the older the author gets.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.