2005-05-06
Original: 2005-05-06 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
An old white-bearded figure (depicted as God/Saint Peter) stands behind a podium up in the clouds, reaching down to hand a small tool to a blond young man below.
Bearded figure: "WELCOME TO HEAVEN, TODD. HERE'S YOUR CORNEA SCRAPER!"
Caption (below panel, the young man's thought/narration): "I'm glad I never sinned. I hear the cornea scrapers in Hell aren't nearly as effective."
Votey:
A close-up of a person holding a tool up to their own eye, scraping at their cornea.
Text (speech/label): "CLEAN LIVIN'"
An old white-bearded figure (depicted as God/Saint Peter) stands behind a podium up in the clouds, reaching down to hand a small tool to a blond young man below.
Bearded figure: "WELCOME TO HEAVEN, TODD. HERE'S YOUR CORNEA SCRAPER!"
Caption (below panel, the young man's thought/narration): "I'm glad I never sinned. I hear the cornea scrapers in Hell aren't nearly as effective."
Votey:
A close-up of a person holding a tool up to their own eye, scraping at their cornea.
Text (speech/label): "CLEAN LIVIN'"
Alt text
A two-panel webcomic. In the main comic, an old white-bearded man portrayed as God stands behind a podium in the clouds of Heaven, leaning down to hand a small metal tool to a blond young man in a green shirt standing below. God says, "Welcome to Heaven, Todd. Here's your cornea scraper!" A caption underneath reads the young man's thought: "I'm glad I never sinned. I hear the cornea scrapers in Hell aren't nearly as effective." The joke: even Heaven's reward involves a painful cornea-scraping; being virtuous just gets you a better-quality version of the same torment. The votey aftercomic is a rough black-and-white close-up of a person gleefully holding the tool up to their own eyeball to scrape their cornea, with the caption "Clean livin'."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.