Golden
Original: Golden on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Caption (top, addressed to God / the golden idol): NICE TRY, GOD. THE BIBLE ONLY FORBIDS WORSHIPPING CARVED IDOLS AND CAST IDOLS. THIS IDOL WAS EXTRUDED AS A PASTE OF GOLD POWDER AND POLYVINYL ALCOHOL, WHICH WAS THEN FUSED BY SINTERING.
(Scene: two robed people kneel before a glowing golden idol of a calf/bull standing on a stone altar, under a bright sun.)
Bottom caption: Secretly, the Lord was pleased that humanity finally found the 3D printing loophole.
Votey:
A golden calf/bull, looking smug with closed eyes, speaks in a speech bubble: I BESTOW ON YOU THE CASH AND BONERS THAT YAHWEH WITHELD. [sic]
Caption (top, addressed to God / the golden idol): NICE TRY, GOD. THE BIBLE ONLY FORBIDS WORSHIPPING CARVED IDOLS AND CAST IDOLS. THIS IDOL WAS EXTRUDED AS A PASTE OF GOLD POWDER AND POLYVINYL ALCOHOL, WHICH WAS THEN FUSED BY SINTERING.
(Scene: two robed people kneel before a glowing golden idol of a calf/bull standing on a stone altar, under a bright sun.)
Bottom caption: Secretly, the Lord was pleased that humanity finally found the 3D printing loophole.
Votey:
A golden calf/bull, looking smug with closed eyes, speaks in a speech bubble: I BESTOW ON YOU THE CASH AND BONERS THAT YAHWEH WITHELD. [sic]
Alt text
An SMBC comic. In a single wide panel, two robed worshippers kneel before a glowing golden idol of a calf or bull mounted on a stone altar, beneath a bright sun. A caption addressed to God reads: "Nice try, God. The Bible only forbids worshipping carved idols and cast idols. This idol was extruded as a paste of gold powder and polyvinyl alcohol, which was then fused by sintering." In other words, they 3D-printed their idol to skirt the commandment. A bottom caption: "Secretly, the Lord was pleased that humanity finally found the 3D printing loophole." Votey: a close-up of the smug golden bull idol, eyes closed, declaring in a speech bubble: "I bestow on you the cash and boners that Yahweh witheld [sic]."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.